Wednesday Playlist – Battle Songs

Courtesy of @UnclePilot we have a #wednesdayplaylist for your amusement & potential participation! Give me “Songs for Going Into Battle!”

violentecstasy – @superbadgirl Combichrist “Intruder Alert”; Stromkern “Armageddon” #wednesdayplaylist

cbellers – @superbadgirl David Bowie “Im Afraid of Americans” #wednesdayplaylist

jamietoonart – @superbadgirl DICEGRINDER – DICEGRINDER #wednesdayplaylist

UnclePilot – @superbadgirl Fumblestealth – J. G. Thirlwell http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRBIJU60AL8 #wednesdayplaylist

agingdragqueen – @superbadgirl perhaps too obvious, but Muse’s Knights Of Cydonia always makes me want to kick ass http://youtu.be/G_sBOsh-vyI

superbadgirl – Rage Against the Machine “Killing in the Name Of” #wednesdayplaylist

Grave_Danger – @superbadgirl “Ready To Die” Andrew W.K.; “Dirt Off Your Shoulders” Jay-Z

_bunny_ – @superbadgirl “Freewheel Burning” by Judas Priest. Also, “Sun and Steel” by Iron Maiden. #wednesdayplaylist

jeniburns – @superbadgirl “Caboose” by Snapcase #wednesdayplaylist

cvbarnhart – @superbadgirl Powerglove – Omnislash (We’re Gonna Need A Bigger Sword) http://bit.ly/9LW5Sh #wednesdayplaylist

soupy – Hans Zimmer “He’s a Pirate” for all your swashbuckling needs. Rage against the Machine’s “Killing in the name of” for all else #wedsplaylist also: The Commodores’ “Too Hot to Trot” if you want to disco boogie all over your opponents’ face. #wednesdayplaylist

trmink – @superbadgirl Bloody Hammer – Roky Erickson and the Aliens #wednesdayplaylist

Schweinhundt – I Want to be in the Calvary by Corb Lund #wednesdayplaylist

ZSB3 - An odd dichotomy: “O, Fortuna” by Carl Orff; “Wait and Bleed” by Slipknot. #wednesdayplaylist

Retro Camera

Android now has a free knock-off version of the Hipstermatic app for iPhone. It does not have as many settings, and you can’t do that shaky thing to make it change presets, but it still takes some fun pictures. Observe this mildew or mold or something growing on the plastic bin on my deck.

Photography: making ugly, dirty shit look awesome since 1827.

Alison Krauss and Union Station “It Doesn’t Matter”

Alison Krauss and Union Station “It Doesn’t Matter”

It doesn’t matter what I want
It doesn’t matter what I need
It doesn’t matter if I cry
Don’t matter if I bleed
You’ve been on a road
Don’t know where it goes or where it leads

It doesn’t matter what I want
It doesn’t matter what I need
If you’ve made up your mind to go
I won’t beg you to stay
You’ve been in a cage
Throw you to the wind you fly away

It doesn’t matter what I want
It doesn’t matter what I need
It doesn’t matter if I cry
Doesn’t matter if I bleed
Feel the sting of tears
Falling on this face you’ve loved for years

Weepies – Be My Thrill

So, the new Weepies album dropped last week. I expected to love it. I just didn’t necessarily expect to love it so much that I want to lay on the floor and cry all day. Usually it takes a few months with a Weepies album before I succumb to the prostrate tears. Nevertheless, it’s that good.

Above is the video for “Be My Thrill.” I have added it so you can hear the song. As cute as it is, I am not a huge fan of it. It’s odd to me that even though I feel very in tune with all of their music, most of their visual choices (album art, videos) leave me pretty cold. There is enough going on in their songs that I feel twee graphics are just a distraction. But. That’s just me.

I have been lately pondering the divide between sentiment and emotion. Thinking about being sentimental versus being emotional, and the level of authenticity that divides those two concepts. Perky, peppy, heartbroken Weepies are a thing that sounds silly and sentimental, but is actually profoundly emotional. And hence my response to them, I do believe.

Be My Thrill

Be my thrill, my little white pill,
my unpaid bill, the one who will
Be my love, my little grey dove,
my push and my shove, my heaven above

And we tumble down like Jack and Jill
and I miss all of the joy you kill
But I love you still, be my thrill

Be my one, my day in the sun,
my little pop gun, the best thing I’ve done
Be my what,my open and shut,
my everything but,my little hot slut

And every morning is like the one before
And everybody needs someone to adore
I’m counting on you
Oh baby say you will
Oh baby be my thrill

Be my youth, my kissing booth,
my little sweet tooth,my beauty and truth
Be my thrill, my little white pill,
my wait up until, the one who will

Also, unsullied by animation, I highly recommend “Please Speak Well of Me.”

Adventures in Responsible House Keeping

Please add to the list of peeves I keep as companions: when you buy a bottle of [whatever] as the bottle you have is nearly empty, and then somehow the two bottles mate, or the first bottle senses the replacement and gets competitive or something, and then suddenly the first bottle is magically way more full, actually, than it seemed. So you have to keep using that bottle, and the new, shiny bottle is sitting there looking resplendent and yet also redundant, and your everything is cluttered with multiple bottles, and you don’t dare put the new bottle somewhere out of the way to store it, as you will no doubt forget you have it and purchase a third because the original is, you know, running low.

Don’t you find that shit irritating?

I am looking at you Tide and Euphoria.

Another time I will post about soap that wears itself down into an awkward broken sliver right away, and then that awkward broken sliver refuses to be used up for the rest of your life, even if you’d really like to switch to a new scent of soap at this point, as you’re sick of the old smell.

Pretty much the best insult I’ve read all week

From the indomitable Sady Fucking Doyle, no less:

The funny thing is, I don’t even need to be a human to be out of your league. There are full-length body pillows that would check out your situation and be like, “whoa, bad idea.”

via Our Post-Sexist Society, or: Feminists Always Make A Big Deal Out Of Nothing, Part 134,450,009

Awesome Things That Came in the Mail This Week

Ordered some books from half.com, and they came this week. This Neil Gaimain has been on my wishlist forever:

Creatures of the Night

I cannot wait to read it, the graphics look amazing.

And I also got next month’s book club book. For 99¢!

The Ladies of Grace Adieu

And just because I had forgotten this was on my camera, here’s an evil rainbow face the sun was making on my desk a few weeks ago:

Today I am offended by:

What the fuck do you know?

I find this entire project so damn offensive and tiresome. As if I am supposed to feel better that someone I don’t know hypothetically finds me beautiful? That should make my day? Conversely, should it ruin my day if someone I don’t know finds me hideous? Of course not. If someone left me a note calling me a hideous hose-beast, then everyone would say “Oh what the fuck do they know!? Don’t listen to them!”

This is the same thing.

The opinions of strangers, people who do not know you (and many times, those of the people who DO know you) are not a thing upon which one should base one’s mood. Positive or negative, I don’t give a flying fuck what you think of how I look. This whole thing just perpetuates the stupid notion that people should always be happy that other people find them “attractive.” Oh the random compliment that made my life worth living! Oh joy! Gosh bless the fragile egos that this project caters to, those people are going to have a difficult way in the world.

And even if one bought into beautiful=important so being thought beautiful=happiness, this also smacks of “everyone gets a trophy, so everyone’s trophy is meaningless.” If some random stranger leaves me a note that says I am beautiful, in a random place, without ever having interacted with me, then they must think everyone is beautiful – and that makes their opinion on the topic meaningless.

I think that people should find themselves adequate to the task of living whatever kind of life they want to live, no matter what their appearance. I also know that’s insanely hard. But further externalizing the way we perceive ourselves based on random anonymous compliments is not actually helping.

Observe my raw naked alien meat-sticks

I am not even going to type up a proper post for this, my level of boggle must be self-explanatory.

I don't think anything means what you think it means.

Wednesday Playlist – What Makes You Change the Station?

Good lord, what about some kind of a #wednesdayplaylist? What song (or artist/group) will *always* make you change the station?

agingdragqueen – @superbadgirl Pearl Jam’s version of Last Kiss.

superbadgirl - I think everyone already knows that for me this is Journey. With a side dish of Macarena. (also, thx @zsb3 for the topic) #wednesdayplaylist

ieincognito – @superbadgirl So many! “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is a fucking anathema, as is anything that can be considered a jam band. #wednesdayplaylist

Grave_Danger – @superbadgirl Creed. They are the suckiest sucks that ever sucked a suck. Times 4.

katatomiclabs – @superbadgirl Santana. Every time.

_bunny_ – @superbadgirl Good topic! Alanis Morissette, 4 Non-Blondes, Limp Bizkit, Jimmy Buffett, Hole, Coldplay, Pearl Jam #wednesdayplaylist

H_Wallbanger – @superbadgirl Too many to list on this one. 140 characters? I could name 140 bands in this category.

El_Dickman – @superbadgirl Any songs I think paid to be on my pandora stations. Such as: Jennifer Lopez, Miley Cyrus, Nickelback, etc.

ZSB3 – @superbadgirl Yay–I pick good topics! Mine are: Mambo #5, Nirvana, Gnarls Barkley, John Mayer, probably others.

Lorizs_tweets – David.Lee.Roth #wednesdayplaylist

stevodarkly – @superbadgirl “Switching to Glide” by The Kings. Annoying song from the ’80s. #wednesdayplaylist.

drew_w – @superbadgirl Lady Gaga, Chumbawumba, Soulja Boy.

trmink – @superbadgirl Classic Rock ballads, in particular, Love Hurts – Aerosmith and Journey -Don’t Stop Believin’ #wednesdayplaylist

Guaca_molly – @superbadgirl Deep Blue Something – Breakfast at Tiffany’s, this song makes me want to die. #wednesdayplaylist

ZSB3 – @superbadgirl Any Shane Co. ad will make me change the station, as will most country songs. #wednesdayplaylist

ZSB3 – And I hate to say it, but Melissa Ethridge songs make the #wednesdayplaylist too.

soupy – @superbadgirl 93.7 The Bull. #wednesdayplaylist

sub_english – @superbadgirl “Green Eyed Lady” and “Black Magic Woman” both make me want to stab things. #wednesdayplaylist

_bunny_ @superbadgirl Poe – Angry Johnny. I will dash my own brains out rather than endure this song. #wednesdayplaylist

laurabean – @superbadgirl where to start? Sixpence whatever’s kiss me. It played constantly when I worked at schnucks. #wednesdayplaylist

laurabean – @superbadgirl actually this #wednesdayplaylist is difficult because I rarely listen to the radio. Oh! Bruce Springsteen. Hate him.

hipntrendy – @superbadgirl I’ll go with Soulja Boy for #wednesdayplaylist

butterflyfish_ – @superbadgirl Spirit in the Sky by whoever it’s by. bawwitdabawbangdabangdabangdidididi (or w/etf it’s called) – Kid Rock . Also, plz tell @trmink that godawful Love Hurts song is SO not by Aerosmith. It’s by… *googles* Nazareth …and I would shut it off, too. Bleh. #wednesdayplaylist

Mandelbox Trip

This is absolutely spectacular.

I would watch it over and over if I wasn’t already so sleepy today. Amazing all the things you see in the patterns.

I have never experimented too much with fractals or fractal builders, the 2d stuff I’ve seen has been nice, but not exactly exciting. But this 3D fly-through might make me change my mind.

Protomen at 2720

So last night I went to see the band The Protomen at 2720 Cherokee. My first time seeing this band, and my first time at this venue.

The venue: have heard a lot about this place from friends. Pretty much expected it to be a cavernous barren space with suspicious liquids on the floor and a frightening bathroom situation. While the floor was sticky in places, overall the venue was a pleasant surprise. ID-checker dude, ticket guy and ‘bracelet of re-entry’ bestowing guy were all polite and helpful. The bartender was reasonably attentive (though he seemed a bit confused by the beer-pouring process) and drinks were typical South Side cheap, with mixed drinks at $4-5 (depending on who made them, apparently) and specialty beers on tap for $4. The space is pretty big, with a larger dedicated stage area than I’ve seen at most of St. Louis’ smaller venues. There are art installations and old toys scattered around and various tableaux from the Star Wars franchise adorn the upper parts of the walls, for your geeking-out pleasure. The bathroom situation was tolerable, wouldn’t want to camp out on the floor there, but neither did it frighten me into holding it all night. Overall, a pleasant surprise. Though they normally don’t book the types of acts I like to see, I would definitely see another show there. Also, I bought my tickets online, and the lack of handling/processing/”basically we just want more of your money and can’t think of a reason” fees were also nice. I’ve become so accustomed to paying an extra $2.50 or $5 or $10 for tickets that I was actually surprised to only pay the advertised price for the show.

The band: I’ve heard my friends talking about this band for a few years, but never really listened to them myself. I figured that they would not be my kind of thing, just based on the rabid fan-boyism abounding and talk of robots on stage. But any band that would inspire people I know to drive out of state for their shows, not once but multiple times—that band I have to see if they ever play StL. I mean, there has to be something there.

I wish I’d known a little bit more about them before seeing the show, because I could sense there was a lot there that I was missing. This band wanted to take the audience on a journey with them, and most of the audience was prepared to go along. I was not, however. I just could not buy into them, knowing nothing about them. Which was a pity, as it all looked like fun. Some of the songs I could really get into (the more rocking songs, or one almost operatic-sounding one) even without knowing where they fit in the overall story they’re telling. But some of them, mostly the slower ones, just seemed extremely dramatic for no reason, and I was lost.

This one I really liked. Has a very 80′s movie-montage quality about it – like… this is the soundtrack to the scene where the hero does whatever needs doing in order to prepare to defeat his enemies.

This song is available for free download at their site (linked above)

Overall, I thought they were pretty cool, but I realized while it was happening that a lot of the experience was being lost on me, so that was too bad. Anyway, I might try to listen to more of their stuff so I can understand the hype.

Overall, a successful night, introduced to new band and new venue, neither of which sucked. In fact, I got a little drunk, and I have not been drunk in a while. A few weeks maybe? A month? I can’t honestly remember the last time I was out drinking & being social – aside from maybe a single drink at dinner. Anyway, I was standing there wondering “Man, this is weird – why do I feel all happy and relaxed? This is kind of fun. Why am I enjoying everything?” and then I realized – it’s the magic of alcohol!

Cool Thing That Came in the Mail Today

Got my prints from A Softer World. Very excited, the quality seems nice. Once I find frames, I think these will go in my living room.

I got two prints, the one in the picture there is this one.

I get confused by stickers like this on packages though:

as they seem to imply there is some other, crushable class of packages out there. I feel that in an ideal world, non-crushing of packages would not be a thing that one had to specify.

I think that if the package is cool with being crushed, that is the one that needs the sticker, as it’s an outlier. #ifIRanTheZoo

Friday Five Fantasy Things You Wish Were Real

How about some #fridayfive action? What are the Top 5 fictional/fantasy things that you wish were real? Could be creatures/places/devices.

superbadgirl – Ludo, Fizzgig, invisibility cloak, magic wands, trolls.#fridayFive

cbellers – @superbadgirl laser guns, teleporters, flying cars, androids, free energy. #nothingiwasntpromised50yearsago

jeniburns – @superbadgirl the TARDIS, mermaids, underwater fireworks, unicorns, and gnomes.

UnclePilot – @superbadgirl Optimism, stability, my chances at writing a novel one day, the female orgasm, and Curly Sue. #fridayfive

stevodarkly – @superbadgirl O’Neill space colonies, Jurassic Park, starship Enterprise, Orion slave girls, my own Wonder Woman’s magic lasso #fridayfive

violentecstasy – Pure happiness, unicorns, poo-less monkeys, calorie-free food, teleporters #fridayfive

trmink – @superbadgirl time machines, Loch Ness Monster, Santa Claus, Ewoks, magic carpets

_bunny_ – @superbadgirl Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, Bag of Holding (D&D), Needler (Halo), Spice (Dune), Nanofax (Gibson) #fridayfive

cassiland – @superbadgirl an intelligent populace, faeries, self cleaning ANYTHING, a healthy working environment, enough sleep #fridayfive

ZSB3 – @superbadgirl Gargoyles that come to life after dark, talking animals, freeze rays, artifacts w/magical properties, Honeydukes Candies.

CDCyr – God, ghosts, flying cars, stargates, blowjobs #fridayfive

“Objectified”

I just watched a great documentary on Netflix, called “Objectified.” It was about designers and the processes through which they go when designing new products for the market. How they observe the end users, and the decisions that they make based on the way the products will be used. I found it really thought-provoking, especially the parts about how all the products we surround ourselves with are part of a story we’re telling ourselves about who we are.

Also, this concept that a Japanese designer discussed, with which the Google has failed me in finding more information:

“A very important turning point for me was the term “obsessive sketch” by takahama kyoshi, the haiku master. When the poet’s sentiments are overty visible, the audience may become uncomfortable.”

And it sounds to me, although I can’t confirm it, that this is exploring the concept of overt sentimentality in art and in writing, and finding a way of sharing what you feel which is not forcing that on others—letting them find your space on their own, not inserting them into it. And I’ve lately been pondering that, so I wish I could find more information about it.

They also had a group of designers sitting around and discussing the toothbrush, how its design might be improved. One of the designers in their brainstorming session came to the same pet question that I have – why have we not evolved beyond the toothbrush? Why is the toothbrush still necessary?

This documentary also inspired me to finally swap out the piece of shit keyboard I got with my new HP computer. Holyfucknuts I have rarely tried to type on a more poorly designed, irritating keyboard. It was too flat overall, the keys especially were way too flat. The angle was wrong, it would not sit up high enough. I actually had the back of it propped up on two stacks of scratch paper, in order to correct the stupidity of the thing’s inherent angle. When I started using it I realized that I was making way more typos, and that I didn’t want to type as much anyway. This keyboard made me want to interact less with my computer, as it made the experience frustrating and unpleasant. Something about it made my wrists feel like they were choking to death. So I have moved back to my massive Microsoft wireless curved-keyboard with wrist wrest, and it’s way ugly and takes up much more space on my desk, and I feel happier. The idea of a thin, stylish, pretty keyboard is nice (looking at you Mac) but it also has to perform as well or better than the alternatives.

I quite literally hate this keyboard. It has inspired hatred in me with its poor design.

So, the last thing this documentary made me ponder—and perhaps the most fascinating—is the concept of interaction design. A lot of the designers were talking about the process by which people interact with things (which is mostly software in this context but I suppose includes things like buttons and icons and signage, too) And while thinking about the design process behind how people interact with things is fun, I find much more interesting the conscious and unconscious design in the way that people interact with each other.

Ultimately we are all the interaction designers of other people’s experiences with us. Instead of logos and signage and software indicating “press here for ‘xyz’ result” we have… our clothing. Our expressions. Our hairstyles. My eyebrows will explain to you how you’re allowed to interact with me, and when you’re doing it wrong—if you grok my operating system. And some of us are really subtle interaction designers. No one knows quite how to deal with us. Some of us are very strong interaction designers – practically broadcast quality. And naturally (unless we’re invested in being indecipherable, or are purposely projecting the opposite of our actual selves) we almost always assume that other people can read our signals and are idiots for interacting with us wrongly, despite all of our clearly displayed indicators. (And then we have popular culture and popular media, who write & promote faulty operating manuals, teaching us to interact with each other in ways that make no sense, based on signals that are inconsistent and unreliable.)

But despite all the interference some people are great at interpreting human interfaces, and some are hopeless at it. Some of us will read everything we need to know about a situation in the twist of a lip, and the set of someone else’s shoulders, while others will blunder hopelessly around the situation even with an overlay of spoken language as an additional design facet. Which thought brings me back to autism, and the spectrum of perception along which we all operate.

So, a documentary about the design of consumer objects makes me ponder socialization. And you know why? It’s because: People. They are more interesting than things.

I think I am going to go lie around and ponder on this idea some more. And then design some new ways for you to interact with me.

Friday Five Things You LOVE to Hate

Good morning minions! How about a little #fridayfive action? This week’s topic (thanks to @_bunny_) is “5 Things You LOVE to Hate.”

superbadgirl – Hipsters with outfits so annoying as to make me laugh. Street thugs w/saggy pants. Anatomically impossible comic art. Corpse-looking runway models. Cripplingly high-heeled shoes. #fridayfive

cvbarnhart – @superbadgirl Tea Party, religion, midwestern culture, corn sugar, Vancian spellcasting. #fridayfive

_bunny_ – @superbadgirl Ethiopian food. Dudes in TOOL t-shirts. Those moronic, tiny circus-midget motorcycles, Tea Partiers. Nickelback. #fridayfive

CDCyr – Liberal self righteousness, conservative judgmentalism, bureaucracy, blind faith, puppies #fridayfive q

cbellers – @superbadgirl miniblind sunglasses, religion, post-dispatch commenters, Huffington Post commenters, youth.

ZSB3 – @superbadgirl Celebrities, the latest “tech gadget”, some of my co-workers, pro sports (except hockey), reality tv

stevodarkly – @superbadgirl #fridayfive Bass cars. Southern-style Christianity. Not using blinkers. The perpetually offended. And last but not least people who embarrass me by espousing viewpoints similar to my own, but in idiotic fashion. #fridayfive

jamietoonart – @superbadgirl people who are famous because they are famous, Tea Partiers, people who think God is responsible for their good fortunes, Little Wayne, Romantic Comedies

cassiland – @superbadgirl loud and inane media “personalities”, guys with bling, (the parent’s of) welfare kids with Nintendo DS’s, stuck up servers, and last, dirty hippies with think the patchouli smell covers the BO and weed stench #fridayfive

jeniburns – @superbadgirl conspiracy theorists, people who think they’re not responsible for the shit that comes out of their own mouths, door-to-door missionaries, people who wear colored denim, and right wingers #fridayfive

Guaca_molly – @superbadgirl Flip-flops on dirty feet, kathy lee gifford, black socks w/ shorts, St. Louis County & my garbage man #fridayfive

Lorizs_tweets – Jeggings, Crocs, Open toe boots, douchebags that wear their pants at the knee and try to run across the street, bumpit #fridayfive

trmink – @superbadgirl bad grammar on signs, alpacas, tricked-out trucks, Chicago Cubs, lite beer

butterflyfish_ – @superbadgirl Sparkly vampires. x5 #fridayfive

More Scary Fantasy Places I Want to Visit

I really hate when people blog art and don’t link back to the artist’s actual portfolio. Unfortunately I cannot find this artist’s (Tatiana Kazakova) portfolio site, so I can only link back to the blog post where found these images.

But they’re stunning, no?

I love the scary candy circus theme, and the softness of the colors, as well as the way the curves draw your eye in. More work at the link above.

Smells Like Truthiness & Scrubbing Bubbles

It can be very difficult to remember that pictures don’t tell the truth. Pictures look like the truth. Our brains generally process them as truth. But they’re not necessarily truth, and even when they are mostly made up of truthy parts, they’re a very filtered version of reality.

Sometimes I look at pictures of other people’s lives, and I think “My life is not that way. Those people have so many things that I don’t have. Look at them, with the things, and the activities, and the companions. They look so happy. My life should be that way.”

My brain wants to tell me that those people are leading happy, perfect, care-free lives. That when the camera turns away from them the smiles don’t fade, the joy in their faces remains. That they never fight, or feel sad, or dissatisfied with their lives, with each other. That their cherubic children never scream and break things and smear poop on the walls and throw up in their beds in the middle of the night. That they never look at each other and wonder if it’s all a big mistake.

But of course that’s not true. The life they’re showing in the pictures they choose to capture and share is only a presentation. Vacations at the beach, parties in Paris, lounging poolside in newly-purchased homes—these are carefully selected snippets of the happiest moments from the best times in their lives. And yet somehow those become a basis for comparison with my life in its most mundane moments.

When I am scrubbing the shower walls with my hair in a dirty ponytail, those pictures beat a refrain in my head – telling me that my friends are enjoying their perfect families in sunshiney lives that are never touched by things like revolting hair clogs in drains or persistent soap scum. Those women always look fantastic and feel fantastic. They do healthy, fulfilling things from the time they get up very early in the morning until the time they lay themselves and their perfect children down to rest. Their magical fairytale lives simply don’t hold all the joyless features of my own. This thing they’re showing me – that’s real life right there. Not like this gray, damp rag of a life that I have going on up in here.

Thus their carefully curated and vetted perfection somehow becomes my hopeless, unattainable standard.

And that’s a lot of why I feel that all pictures are lies. That looking at them promises and persuades you that you’re now the recipient of  so much information, but actually offers so little truth. I do not know what happened the moment before that picture was taken, or the moment after. I do not know if you smiled through gritted teeth, teetering on one foot because your toes were blistered, and all you really wanted was to go home. I do not know if you hate that person you’re standing next to, and wish they’d meet an unfortunate end.

And truly, I could stage all kinds of well-lit photos of myself and my smiling friends and our amazing activities and my everyday environs—arranged to arouse envy and convince people my life is charmed— but would that make it so? No. What would be the meaning in doing that thing, for me or for anyone else? Is my life about perfectly staged moments that I project to other people, or is it about how I feel about myself when I am alone with my dirty dishes and a rug that the dog just peed on? Probably it lies somewhere in between the two, but leaning much more into peed-on-rug territory, I think.

It’s important for me that I remember that a huge part of life is pretty damn mundane. And there’s joy in that. There’s joy in finding your quiet place where things don’t have to be perfect, and hunkering down there. There’s joy in not having to display yourself for others to judge. There’s joy in privacy and things not done for anyone but oneself. Sure, in each life there are shining postcard moments, and glorious things to remember, but I do not think that we do each other a service when we place so much emphasis on projecting our lives as made up of nothing but those moments.

And so I see you there, on Facebook and Flickr and everywhere else, with your photos, and your happiness and your perfection. And I take note of what you’ve chosen to show me, and the story you want to tell me about your life. OK then. If that’s what you want to say. But please excuse me if I treat them like any other work of fiction.

The xx – Crystalised

You’ve applied the pressure
To have me crystalised
And you’ve got the faith
That I could bring paradise

I’ll forgive and forget
Before I’m paralyzed
Do I have to keep up the pace
To keep you satisfied

Things have gotten closer to the sun
And I’ve done things in small doses
So don’t think that I’m pushing you away
When you’re the one that I’ve kept closest

Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh

You don’t move slow
Taking steps in my directions
The sound resounds, echo
Does it lessen your affection
No

You say I’m foolish
For pushing this aside
But burn down our home
I won’t leave alive

Glaciers have melted to the sea
I wish the tide would take me over
I’ve been down on my knees
And you just keep on getting closer

Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh

Placid as I melt into the sea
(Things have gotten closer to the sun)
I wish the tide would take me over
(And I’ve done things in small doses)
I’ve been down onto my knees
(So don’t think that I’m pushing you away)
And you just keep on getting closer
(When you’re the one that I’ve kept closest)

Go slow
Go slow
Go slow
Go slow
Go slow