does this Rolling Stone cover seem way less about Britney than it does her body?

It’s very “Look at me! I once more conform to your standard of what a super-star desirable female should be! Here is my lean stomach to prove it!”

Between the skirt pulled down and the shirt pulled up, it’s like her flat stomach is the membership card to some club she wants back into.

Which, I guess it actually is. That fucking sucks.

Also, some magazine i was reading referred to her “weight problem” the other day. Now seriously, what do we think is the most a non-pregnant Britney ever weighed? 135? Tops?

I hate media.

Protests Over a Rule to Protect Health Providers - NYTimes.com
By ROBERT PEAR
Published: November 17, 2008

WASHINGTON — A last-minute Bush administration plan to grant sweeping new protections to health care providers who oppose abortion and other procedures on religious or moral grounds has provoked a torrent of objections, including a strenuous protest from the government agency that enforces job discrimination laws.

The proposed rule would prohibit recipients of federal money from discriminating against doctors, nurses and other health care workers who refuse to perform or to assist in the performance of abortions or sterilization procedures because of their “religious beliefs or moral convictions.”

It would also prevent hospitals, clinics, doctors’ offices and drugstores from requiring employees with religious or moral objections to “assist in the performance of any part of a health service program or research activity” financed by the Department of Health and Human Services.

…

But the National Association of Chain Drug Stores, the American Hospital Association, the American Medical Association, 28 senators, more than 110 representatives and the attorneys general of 13 states have urged the Bush administration to withdraw the proposed rule.

Pharmacies said the rule would allow their employees to refuse to fill prescriptions for contraceptives and could “lead to Medicaid patients being turned away.” State officials said the rule could void state laws that require insurance plans to cover contraceptives and require hospitals to offer emergency contraception to rape victims.

The Ohio Health Department said the rule “could force family planning providers to hire employees who may refuse to do their jobs” — a concern echoed by Cecile Richards, president of the Planned Parenthood Federation of America.

I was leaving the house for work this morning, and caught sight of myself in the mirror. I thought that I looked like I was dressed in office worker drag. Makeup, hair done, crisp white shirt, sassy jacket, lots of jewelry. It’s a uniform, to make me feel like I fit in that world, when the world I really fit in has more to do with zip-up hoodie jackets with bleach stains down the front.

And for the millionth time I wondered at our fixation with taking what we are, as female humans, and making it look like the opposite. If it’s naturally shiny, de-shine it! If it’s naturally matte, make it shiny! If it’s naturally ruddy, make it paler! If it’s naturally pale, make it more colorful! If it’s curly, straighten it! If it’s straight, curl it!

Blah blah, evolutionary imperative and attracting a mate via healthy biological signals be damned, shouldn’t we (esp. those not wanting to spawn) have evolved past that? All this complicated social signalling. Taking everything that is and making it other - no wonder I love most those days when I don’t have to leave my house and have people judging what kind of job I did in pretending to be some matte-finished someone else.

I’ll never be a Hollywood stick insect, vows Anna Friel as she dolls up in 1930s glamour | Mail Online

By Daily Mail Reporter
20th October 2008

Anna Friel may have landed a plum role on a hit US television drama, but she has no intention of losing weight to conform to Hollywood’s super-slim ideal.

The headstrong British actress is now based in Los Angeles where she has filmed quirky TV drama Pushing Daisies since 2006.

The former Brookside star credits the healthy diet of her formative years with her determination to maintain her natural body weight.

Yeah. She’s the fucking poster child for full-figured women. Look at her there, all… non-skeletal.

In the meantime we’ve got Eva Longoria crucified for gaining SEVEN WHOLE POUNDS, with one of her co-stars calling her “fat” at a size zero. We’ve got Madonna, who weighs about 32 ropey pounds, being called “a piece of gristle” in the bedroom, because she’s too skinny. We’ve got Faith Hill photoshopped into oblivion on the cover of Shape magazine, with a headline trumpeting how she’s in a bikini at 41! Practically in the nursing home and still in a bikini! After three kids! And a few hours with Photoshop!

Too fat! Too skinny! Too ropey! Gained too much! Lost too much! Works out too much! Had *gasp!* plastic surgery (cheater!) Spends too much time in the gym! Doesn’t spend enough time in the gym!

Don’t you understand, females? Your bodies BELONG TO THE PUBLIC! Stop assuming you have the right to live your life. You’re on stage, you’re on show, you’re on notice. Conform to the ever-changing ideal of perfection or be ruthlessly critiqued! (But honestly, it doesn’t matter, we’ll rip you to shreds no matter what you do. Especially if you leave the house w/o makeup.)

I hate the whole world, for serious.

Palin Misquotes Albright: “Place In Hell Reserved For Women Who Don’t Support Other Women”

At a rally on Saturday in California, Sarah Palin offered up a rather jarring argument for supporting the Republican ticket. “There’s a place in Hell reserved for women who don’t support other women,” the Alaska Governor said, claiming she was quoting former Clinton Secretary of State Madeleine Albright.

The statement came after Palin had recounted a “providential” moment she experienced on Saturday: “I’m reading on my Starbucks mocha cup, okay? The quote of the day… It was Madeleine Albright, former Secretary of State [crowd boos] and UN ambassador. … Now she said it, I didn’t. She said, ‘There’s a place in Hell reserved for women who don’t support other women.’”

Actually, Albright didn’t say that. The accurate quote is, “There’s a place in Hell reserved for women who don’t help other women.”

I am confused by the crowd’s reaction to Ms. Albright’s name. She was highly respected Secretary of State. She’s also the first woman to hold that position. So they’re cheering Palin’s saying all women should “support” other women (meaning that even we liberal women should all support her quest to attain a powerful government position because of her gender) and booing the mention of a woman who attained a very powerful position in government?

Conservatives confuse the logical part of my brain. No wonder they refuse to think, they’d give themselves headaches trying to sort out their own reasoning.

So here’s Friday night’s going-out story. (Do I need to preface this with all my situational going-out anxiety and confused/conflicting feelings about being out in the public sphere? I didn’t think so.)

Went out to dinner for Jessica’s b-day at Michael’s. Had a minor melt-down in the early evening due to something really stupid I did on accident, and my inability to accept that I sometimes make mistakes. Yes, even me. Yes, mistakes. Things done wrong for which I am responsible. Unacceptable. Will assess and address this issue later. Maybe. Anyway.

Went out to dinner and it ended up being the four of us. We all left at the same time, ostensibly to go to the bar, but Friend 1 had to take leftovers to her house and Friend 2 had to go home to put her jewelry on. So MyTodd™ and I (in separate cars) made our way to the bar. Midway there he calls to tell me that he sees a bunch of his colleagues’ cars in another bar’s parking lot, so he’s stopping there for a drink. No problem, I go on to the original destination bar without him. (See? See how brave I am become?) I get there and (male) Friend 3 is there, along with Friendly Barkeep. So I am comfortable and feel safe with these people I know, and sit down and start chatting. Unfortunately I am really, really tired. Two days of physically intense photo shoots at work plus the stress of a no-show photographic subject on Friday, plus aforementioned meltdown = me being almost totally (albeit pleasantly) brain-dead and non-talky. I was leaning my head in my hand on the bar, actually. Which caused the Friendly Barkeep to wave his hand in front of my face to see if I was awake at one point.

OK, here it’s going to get all complicated and over-explained and stuff, so if you don’t like that kind of thing… stop reading. Continue reading »

I am really angry today. The more the day goes on, the angrier I get.

I sometimes think that it’s more comfortable to be depressed and disconnected from the world. Because when I really start to feel better and engage in life I somehow always end up tapping into that big fat vein of furious, righteous anger inside me. And when that happens I don’t know where to go with it, unless carrying around a baseball bat and beating the shit out of everyone who needs it has suddenly become legal.

I get so fed up with being a girl in this world. And the operative part of that statement isn’t “being a girl.” It’s this fucked up way we live in this fucked-up society where tons of bad shit is done to women every single day and we’re expected to put up with it. (And then when we do put up with it we’re labeled “passive.” But that’s a topic for another day.) The way that I’ve been treated by men has affected my relationship with the world. Period. I don’t know who I might be, or what I might do if the constant threat of physical violence from men didn’t color my existence. And it might be marginally better if the guys I know didn’t tell me I was “hysterical” or “overreacting” when I did try to talk about how women feel.

One of the links below is a post in which women are asked to recount the sexist, degrading things that men have done to them in their lifetimes, and it’s a chilling read. Not that anything in there is unfamiliar to me, since most of those things have happened to me too. Just that it’s so pervasive, and we’re told to laugh it off, consider it a compliment, ignore it, expect it because of how we’re dressed/what we look like/how loudly we laugh, etc. You cannot exist as a female in this society and escape the threat of male (sexual and non-sexual) violence. You just can’t.

I think this quote from that thread sums it up most perfectly. The commenter attributed it to Margaret Atwood, so I am going to assume it’s hers:

“Why are you afraid of women? I asked a group of men.
“We’re afraid they’ll laugh at us,” replied the men.
“Why are you afraid of men” I asked a group of women
“We’re afraid they’ll kill us,” replied the women.

So read the links below, and try to imagine what it feels like for a girl. And stop telling us that we don’t know what we know, and don’t feel what we feel.

How not to be an asshole: a guide for men at Pandagon

If no woman in your life has ever talked to you about how she lives her life with an undercurrent of fear of men, consider the possibility that it may be because she sees you as one of those men she cannot really trust.

Men who explain things - Los Angeles Times

Billions of women are out there on this 6-billion-person planet being told that they are not reliable witnesses to their own lives, that the truth is not their property, now or ever.

Turn that douchehound upside down « Kate Harding’s Shapely Prose

…this comment reminded me of the sad fact that many men simply do not believe women’s life experiences. They have no idea what many of us are subject to, because those things tend not to happen when there are men with us. Some men conclude that therefore shit must not really go down the way women says it does, because otherwise wouldn’t they see it with their big manly eyes?…

So. Hands up if a man has “said something cruel or sexist about your appearance.” Hands up if you’ve witnessed a man saying something cruel or sexist about another woman’s appearance. Hands up if you know a man like Richard who thinks he’s so bloody different from all those other men. Hands up if you’re goddamn sick and tired of being told that if you notice sexism, you’re the sexist. And hands up, male readers, if you have ever been or known that man.

Bitch Ph.D.
…the daily drumbeat of the world treating you like you’re a piece of meat every time you step out of the house takes a toll on your psyche that nothing can erase.

It’s so awful here at work right now. Walking out of my office feels like that scene in “Silence of the Lambs” where Jodi Foster has to walk down that hallway toward Hannibal’s cell, and all the convicts are lined up, staring at her.

I walked out of my office to go to the bathroom this morning and there were 20+ guys standing there, dead silent as I walked past.

I went over to the cafeteria and it’s the same thing, but at least those guys aren’t dead quiet and staring. What’s worse is what they’re saying though. It’s like they’ve never even heard of the concept of moderating their language in a professional/public setting.

I don’t know, I can’t deal with it today. I just want to not leave my office and thus not be stared at.

And BTW I am not saying these are admiring glances, or WHOO-BABY’s. It’s just staring on account of femaleness, and that’s not any nicer to be on the receiving end of than a catcall or an insult. It’s all off-putting, it all makes me uneasy and uncomfortable.

Absolute QOTD material, here. Too bad it came from Esquire, but still.

“We’re All Flat-Chested. Otherwise, We Wouldn’t Need To Be Feminists.”
This is a culture in which seeming to reveal something appealing, even if it’s obviously false, is preferable to revealing something ugly, even if it’s obviously true. This is a falsie culture.

There are so many reasons that I have problems being around people. But as I was out last night I was reminded of one of my least favorite things about socializing.

To wit: for some reason, guys think that it is their absolute unfettered right to publicly critique the appearance of any girl around them and deem it “appealing” or “non-appealing.” No detail is too small for their consideration! Outfits, hairstyles, skin tone, muscle tone, ass fat, cleavage, handbags - they’re all open to dissection, judgment and potential scorn.

And citizens, these are guys that I LIKE, acting this way. These guys are my friends. These are guys who read and are aware of politics, hold professional positions, make house payments, supposedly live in the real world. But they still feel as if every woman who walks into their line of vision has apparently spent her entire life waiting for just such an occasion to present herself to them, and they do not shy from filling out their mental scorecards on each aspect of her appearance. It’s like it doesn’t even occur to them that women exist for a purpose other than visual pleasure.

And these are not above-average guys, either. These are normal, everyday people with no special claim to attractiveness and/or eligibility.

My favorite (of many instances last night) was a guy who was complaining about the lead actress in a superhero movie, because she was unattractive. Her level of not-attractiveness (according to his discerning taste) was such that it made the entire movie unrealistic. OK then. That’s what made it impossible for you to suspend your disbelief in regards to a movie based on a COMIC BOOK. The actress, someone who is professionally beautiful, is not hot enough for you. Ruined the whole movie. Mmmhmmm.

What compounds the confusion for me is that I see the women that these same men are with. They’ve somehow attracted mates, a few of them. And they’re just regular women. Regular looks, a wide variety of ass sizes, weird teeth, imperfect skin, smeared lipstick… regular women. And I can’t figure out if the guys have two standards in their head, one to judge a woman they’re currently fucking (”she can have imperfections, I can’t do any better.”) and another to judge women on the street. (”Not allowed to have imperfections, must be completely hot.”) If this is the case, then apparently the “woman on the street” category is broad enough to encompass you and me while we run to Target to pick up toilet paper AND professional actresses on the red carpet who’ve had 3+ hours of prep time for their photo op.

I don’t know if the guys who do this understand what it feels like as a woman to sit and hear that kind of conversation. It fucking sucks. That casual dissection of the female appearance is just unsettling, stacked as it is on the assumption that women are supposed to be visually appealing at all times and if they aren’t then they’re somehow doing it wrong.

It’s especially disturbing when whatever flaw they’re discussing is one you have. There are some sensitivity issues here. For instance, it would never occur to me, when speaking to a guy with a weight problem or snaggly teeth or bad skin or thinning hair, to start negatively critiquing another guy with the same issue. Honestly, is that something that people really need to be reminded not to do? Like remembering not to say “God, I hate cripples!” when speaking to a person in a wheelchair? I mean, we all got that message when we were about five or six years old, didn’t we? So when a guy is talking to me and starts ragging on the appearance of a girl who is already way better looking than I am, how am I supposed to feel? Does that mean I am invisible, or just someone whose feelings don’t count? Am I supposed to assume that there are two standards, one for the “real” girl the guy is talking to now, and one for the plaything across the room? Because I am across the room from someone, and I know that I don’t look any better from over there than I do close up. So I can only assume that there is someone over there saying awful things about my body, my clothing, my hair. And hey, guess what? That makes me as paranoid as all fuck.

And I don’t understand what’s doing it. What’s made every single outing an adventure in hot-or-not? Is it the InterTubes? Is it Photoshop? Is it plastic surgery? Is it the impossible beauty standard created by already attractive women who are then surgeried and ’shopped into an even more ideal image that is in no way connected to reality? Or is it just man’s innate tendency to be a judgmental douche?

It’s all disheartening. It all makes me dislike other people. It all makes me dislike myself even more.

I suppose that one of these days I am going to internalize and grow numb to the fact that all guys will fuck anything that moves while constantly keeping their options open in case a much-more-perfect specimen comes along. That all guys assume we exist only in an attempt to please their eyes and get their dicks hard. That no man understands there’s more to a woman they see than… what they see. But today’s not that day. And last night was certainly not that night.

I was reading this article on HuffPo because the thumbnail image for it was a pair of granny panties. And at first I thought it was satirical. The guy talking in a funny way about they tyrannical obsession with female beauty and grooming in our society. No. He’s serious. To which I can only say: Bite me, and then die in a fire, you big queeny motherfucker.

What a self-important, judgmental, superficial jackass. What is he? A professional female appearance critic? By walking into his line of sight have you opened yourself up to his 10-pt review? Never mind what women are DOING in a day. Make sure you focus on how they’re LOOKING while they’re doing it. Oh just fuck you and your anachronistic bullshit brigade. And double-fuck the women who commented on his post about how awesome his advice was. Can the Jezebel ladies please go and give him a makeover, and have him wear Spanx and heels to a party, keeping his hair and makeup impeccably preserved the entire time, while carrying the perfect bag that “matches to a ‘T’”?

(excerpt here, but you don’t have to go read the whole thing. It never gets any better and you get the gist of it from this bullshit intro.)

Tony Alcindor: On The Importance Of Details
One of my all time favorite pastimes is people-watching, and ever since I moved to New York I couldn’t be happier. It’s like being part of a giant fashion show and the sidewalk is the runway. Every street, every block, every neighborhood has another real life model strutting her stuff in this great metropolis.

Then I started to look a little closer…

To my dismay, not all was what it seemed. Not all of you were paying attention! Not all were taking the time to pull it together! When I looked a little closer, things were good from afar, but far from good. My rose-colored glasses are cracked and some of you are skipping whole steps — things you forgot to do. You think no one notices or you simply couldn’t be bothered.

THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE, LADIES!

Sidenote: Yesterday I ducked out of the house to the gelateria to escape the moving noise. Like I said, I had been bawling like a newborn calf all day because of the situation next door, and being hormonal. I barely had the fortitude to find clothing to put on, much less matching, attractive clothing. I was also wearing red underpants and khaki shorts. I had no idea if they showed through and I could not care less if they did. I knew for sure that my bra was showing out the side of my tank top when my shirt blew open, and I certainly did not care about that at all. So I walked into the place looking like a hot mess, and not giving a shit. I ordered my sandwich and chai and paid. The guy (obviously gay with long, manicured fingernails) took my $20 and said “Do you mind if I give you some advice?” Now, given my recent rants about gay men and their unwanted critiques of me when I am out, my blood pressure was prepared to go through the roof. I know I looked terrible! I needed no one to tell me! I had more on my plate than beautifying myself for other people’s viewing pleasure!  I narrowed my eyes at him and said “Excuse me?” and he repeated patiently “Do you mind if I give you some fives?”

I blinked. I said that fives were fine and I started laughing, explaining that I thought he said that he wanted to give me some advice and (laughingly) that I was not in the mood for any advice. He looked at me and said “My advice? Take a vacation.”

Actually, that’s good advice. Thanks, gelateria man. ;-)

McCain answers the question: I’m keeping the money - The Jed Report

Yesterday, John McCain cancelled his attendance at a fundraiser with Clayton Williams, who gave the following advice to rape victims: “As long as it’s inevitable, you might as well lie back and enjoy it.”

McCain’s campaign cited that remark as the reason for his cancellation.

But it turns out that Williams had already raised $300,000 for McCain — and now McCain says he is keeping it all.

First of all, this guy should meet up with this guy.

Second of all, I have a friend who dearly loves to strap it on and give it to the guys of her acquaintance. I think it would be rather a good idea for Clayton Williams to experience “just lay back and enjoy” first-hand.

Third of all… fucking McCain. Jesus.

Indian village proud after double honor killing | U.S. | Reuters

BALLA, India Reuters - Five armed men burst into the small room and courtyard at dawn, just as 21-year-old, 22-week pregnant, Sunita was drying her face on a towel.

They punched and kicked her stomach as she called out for her sleeping boyfriend “Jassa”, 22-year-old Jasbir Singh, witnesses said. When he woke, both were dragged into waiting cars, driven away and strangled.

Their bodies, half-stripped, were laid out on the dirt outside Sunitas fathers house for all to see, a sign that the familys “honor” had been restored by her cold-blooded murder.

A week later, the village of Balla, just a couple of hours drive from Indias capital New Delhi, stands united behind the act, proud, defiant almost to a man.

…

“From society’s point of view, this is a very good thing,” said 62-year-old farmer Balwan Arya, sitting smoking a hookah in the shade of a tree in a square with other elders from the village council or panchayat. “We have removed the blot.”

New Oklahoma Law: Women Seeking Abortions Must Have Ultrasounds Against Their Will | Reproductive Justice and Gender | AlterNet

The Oklahoma State Legislature is playing doctor again. Last year they dictated how specialists at the University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center may care for pregnant women who have medical complications. This week, despite intense lobbying efforts and the Governor’s veto, the legislature passed Senate Bill 1878, which mandates invasive and unnecessary medical testing for women.

Under the guise of obtaining informed patient consent, this new law requires doctors to withhold pregnancy termination until an ultrasound is performed. The law states that either an abdominal or vaginal ultrasound, whichever gives the best image of the fetus, must be done. Neither the patient nor the doctor can decide which type of ultrasound to use, and the patient cannot opt out of the ultrasound and still have the procedure. In effect, then, the legislature has mandated that a woman have an instrument placed in her vagina for no medical benefit. The law makes no exception for victims of rape and incest.

…

In a further reversal of standard medical practice, this bill defines failure to perform this unnecessary medical procedure as “unprofessional conduct” and suggests that the state medical board may remove the physician’s license. Failure to perform the ultrasound also leads to fines beginning at $10,000 and increasing to more than $100,000. By comparison, the highest fine for negligent homicide or driving under the influence in Oklahoma is $1,000.

In the category of “right-wing men say the darndest things” we have this gem from London:

BNP candidate sacked over ‘rape is a myth’ blog | News

On 24 August 2005, Mr Eriksen wrote on the blog: “I’ve never understood why so many men have allowed themselves to be brainwashed by the feminazi myth machine into believing that rape is such a serious crime … Rape is simply sex. Women enjoy sex, so rape cannot be such a terrible physical ordeal.

“To suggest that rape, when conducted without violence, is a serious crime is like suggesting force-feeding a woman chocolate cake is a heinous offence. A woman would be more inconvenienced by having her handbag snatched.”

On 5 November 2005, in an item entitled “Give her a slap!,” Mr Eriksen approvingly quoted Noel Coward as saying: “Some women are like gongs - they need to be struck regularly.” On 24 November 2005, Mr Eriksen wrote that mothers “should never go out to work” and described career women as ” unnatural and vile”.

Mr Eriksen said the comments were simply “in order to stimulate debate”.

Here’s a picture of the guy:

OK, whatever. This guy is brain-dead, clueless, a right-wing attention-whore, shockingly sheltered and childishly provocative, all at the same time.

He makes a claim that rape “without violence” isn’t such a big deal. Hello? There is no such thing as rape without violence. Duh. There may be rape with varying degrees of violence, and some of it may not involve having the ever-loving shit beat out of you, but there’s no option for “sticking your parts into someone else’s parts against that person’s will” that is NOT violent.

He can keep telling himself that “date rape” is better than “stranger rape” so he can keep jerking off to his fantasies of attacking every woman he knows - none of whom would sleep with him for any amount of ready cash.

I don’t know whether to hope this is just Ann Coulter style grandstanding (seriously, can’t you see her saying the same thing?) or that the guy is just bitter and lonely and ugly and confused. No one seriously believes that kind of thing, do they?