Song of the Day – Aimee Mann “This is How it Goes”

Oh Aimee Mann. Why so many double letters? And why the songs that speak to my heart like that? Hopefully you’re well paid for being professionally distraught. For me it’s just a side-gig, you see. Listen at last.fm.

This is how it goes
You’ll get angry at yourself
And think you can think of something else
And I’ll hear the clanging of the bells
Cause I can’t stop you baby

Cause I don’t have a bribery in place
No bright shining surface to my face
So I won’t go near the market place
With what I’m selling lately
Cause this is how it goes

Cause it’s all about drugs
It’s all about shame
And whatever they want
Don’t tell them your name

This is how it goes
One more failure to connect
With so many how could I object?
And you, what on earth did you expect?
Well I can’t tell you baby
When this is how it goes

Cause it’s all about drugs
It’s all about shame
And whatever they want
Don’t tell them your name

So I’ll try to hold on
While you try to let go
You won’t tell me it’s gone
But baby I’ll know
Baby I’ll know

- Aimee Mann ‘This is How it Goes‘

Song of the Day – Sarah Bettens “Follow Me”

Sarah Bettens “Follow Me” (can’t stream the song, but there’s a video of it being performed live)

Someday I’ll stop trying and I’ll know
how much time I’ve wasted always wanting more
I doubt you’ll end up where you need to be with me
I tend to run in circles, wallowing in my own sea
I can run and play and dive into the ocean
I can touch the sand and feel it slip away

You could follow me,
I don’t know where I’m going
you could follow me
You could follow me,
it might not be the smartest thing to do
but you could follow me…

I want you to be happier than me
I’m a poor example of a carefree human being
Here’s a list of things I wish to be
your pillow and your blanket
and your life time guarantee
I can love you all the way across the ocean
I doubt that that will ever go away

You could follow me,
I don’t know where I’m going
you could follow me
You could follow me,
it might not be the smartest thing to do
but you could follow me…

If I ever stop believing there’s a reason for my life,
I might as well stop trying to make
sense of what is right,
you could follow me…

You could follow me,
I don’t know where I’m going
you could follow me
You could follow me,
it might not be the smartest thing to do
but you should follow me

Random crap of the day

• There are two inches of hard-packed ice in my parking pad, and last night I almost fell and cracked my head right open. Ice melt isn’t helping and it seems like the sun never reaches that area.
• I am listening to too much industrial music right now, and I don’t know if that’s feeding my anxiety, or my anxiety is fueling my need to hear it.
• I got my doctor to switch up one of my medications for an extended release version, which may in fact make me feel slightly less sick. Fingers crossed because if this doesn’t work I am going to stop taking any of this shit, and damn the consequences.
• My soul is deeply dissatisfied, and needs some stimulation. Usually this results in my doing something really, really bad for me in order to have something to worry about. Should be fun – stay tuned for the upcoming breakdown, and feel free to tell me later that I have no one to blame but myself.
• I am really over slutty stupid t-shirt graphics. If you want to be a big attention-seeking whore then fine, but the unfunny t-shirt on top of that is just annoying.
• I am enchanted with writers like Neil Gaiman who choose to share so much of their lives and processes with us. What a wonderful way to be in the world. What unimaginable access the internet gives us. How exciting technology can be.
• Right now I am also loving Paulo Coelho’s blog.

His current question regarding “Saving the Planet” speaks to the way I feel about the terms in which our approach to conservation is couched. We talk about “saving the planet” as if the planet is a thing we control. Something we could possibly destroy. Our hubris is astonishing. By destroying our habitat and the environment we’re destroying many life forms, and possibly ourselves – but this planet will be here long, long after we’re gone.

If you think of the Earth as an experimental closed system, and take the part of an outside observer, what do you see? What one factor in this system throws all the other factors out of balance, and creates non-sustainability and chaos? What uses more than it gives back? What part of the system causes the other parts to fail? That’s right kids, it’s us. No other species or life form in this system is so out of balance with its surrounding environment. Everything else finds ways to adapt, live in harmony with its surroundings. Not us. We’re a uniquely destructive force, bending the world’s limited resources to their breaking point, destroying that which sustains us and ultimately marking ourselves for extinction. It’s unfortunate that we’re taking so many other things with us on our flaming death spiral, but in the end I can’t say that the extinction of humans is a bad thing. Think how the planet could restore itself to balance without us fucking everything up.

We are the cockroaches of the universe; devouring, infecting, using our giant hive minds to adapt the world to our needs rather than adapt ourselves to the world. For now we’re entrenched and as long as we’re here we’re going to keep destroying everything we touch.

As an observer seeking order and trying to maintain some kind of workable system, guess what dysfunctional life form I would pluck from this equation? You got it.

If there were a god, he’d totally disappear us. The fact that we are suffered to exist is enough proof to me that no one’s in charge. So no, we’re not going to save the world. We may save ourselves, but I doubt it. Since saving ourselves is a net negative for the planet, I am not even sure that it should be encouraged.

Anyway, that’s not meant to be depressing, that’s just how I see it.

Everything that I said I’d do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on

- The Weepies “World Spins Madly On”

Song of the Day – Toad the Wet Sprocket “Fall Down”

This album has been one of my favorites for 15 years or so. And periodically I go back an hear totally new things in the songs. Or the same thing I forgot that I heard last time. Anyway.

Toad the Wet Sprocket – “Fall Down” Listen at last.fm

She said “I’m fine, I’m okay”
cover up your trembling hands
There’s indecision when you know you ain’t got nothing left
Well the good times never stay
And the cheap thrills
always seem to fade away
When will we fall?
When will we fall down?

Jump back, gotta get out of here
Been too, too long this town
Jump back, gotta get out of here
When will, when will we fall down?

She hates her life, she hates her skin, she even hates her friends
Tries to hold on to all the reputation she can’t mend
And there’s some chance we could fail
But the last time someone was always there for bail
When will we fall?
When will we fall down?

Jump back, gotta get out of here
Been too, too long this town
Jump back, gotta get out of here
When will, when will we fall down?

She said “I’m fine, I’m okay” cover up your trembling hands
There’s indecision when you know you ain’t got nothing left
For the last time conscience calls
For a good friend I was never there at all
When will we fall
When will we fall down

Song of the Day – Deb Talan “The Darkest Season”

I don’t know if I could ever possibly recommend Deb Talan hard enough. Every time I listen to her I think “I love her more than anything.” and then I listen to Steve Tannen and I think “I love him more than anything.” and then I listen to their band The Weepies and I think “OMFG I love them more than anything.” I don’t know what or whom to love the most in this crazy equation. I guess that’s a good position in which to be.

It just seems so impossible that two singer/songwriters who were independently amazing and soul-destroying could have become friends, started working together to form the best band in the world, then fallen in love and had a miracle baby together. What the fuck? I fear when that baby starts writing songs, because I am sure to jump off the roof in response to their beauty and truth.

Anyway, if you’re not totally dead inside, and in some cases even if you are, listen to Deb Talan. And Steve Tannen. And The Weepies. Just trust me.

Deb Talan – The Darkest Season (not on Last.fm, but you can buy on iTunes)

The last few golden leaves
are clinging tightly to their branches
Like they don’t want to let go
Like they don’t trust
what they don’t know

’cause it’s not quite winter
and it’s not quite fall
And even though it’s been a year
I cannot pass you by
not at all

I tell myself “enough”
My heart can’t feel the reason
Why must we into the darkest season?

It’s cold, getting colder
I dreamt last night of being older
I looked in the mirror
There was so much gray
If i saw you tomorrow
What would I say?
What could you say?

Now it’s not quite winter
and it’s not quite fall
And even though it’s been a year
I cannot pass you by
Not at all

I tell myself “enough”
My heart can’t feel the reason
Why must we into the darkest season?

It’s not that I’m not thankful
or grateful
to what we’ve grown
It’s not that i’m not living my life all right
on my own

I just feel the empty space
I just feel the wind blow through
I just thought in any case
I would always know you

It’s not quite winter
and it’s not quite fall
and even though it’s been a year
I cannot pass you by
not at all

I tell myself “enough”
My heart can’t feel the reason
Why must we into the darkest season?

The darkest season.

Song of the Day— Brett Dennen “There is so much more”

Brett Dennen There is so much more – listen at last.fm

When I heard the news,
My heart fell on the floor
I was on a plane on my way to Baltimore
In these troubled times it’s hard enough as it is
My soul has known a better life than this

I wonder how so many could be in so much pain,
While others don’t seem to feel a thing
Then I curse my whiteness,
and I get so damn depressed,
In a world of suffering,
Why should I be so blessed?

I heard about a woman who lives in Colorado,
She built a monument of salt behind the garage door
Where every day she prays for all whom are born
And all who’s souls have passed on

Sometimes my trouble gets so thick
I can’t see how I’m gonna get through it
but then I would rather be
stuck up in a tree
Than be tied to it

There is so much more.

I don’t feel comfortable with the way that my clothes fit
I can’t get used to my body’s limits
I got some fancy shoes to try and kick away these blues
They cost a lot of money but they aren’t worth a thing

I want to free my feet from the broken glass and concrete
I need to get out of this city
Lay upon the ground stare a hole in the sky
Wondering where I go when I die
When I die.

Song of the Day — Stars, Calendar Girl

Stars, Calendar Girl. Listen at last.fm

If I am lost for a day
try and find me
But if I don’t come back
then I won’t look behind me

All of the things that I thought were so easy
just got harder and harder each day

December is the darkest and June is the light
but this empty bedroom won’t make anything right

While out on the landing a friend I forgot to send home
Who waits up for me all through the night

Calendar girl, who’s in love with the world stay alive

I dreamed I was dying; as I so often do
And when I awoke I was sure it was true
I ran to the window; threw my head to the sky and said
whoever is up there, please don’t let me die

But I can’t live forever, I can’t always be
One day I’ll be sand on a beach by the sea
The pages keep turning, I’ll mark off each day with a cross
And I’ll laugh about all that we’ve lost

Calendar girl who is lost to the world, stay alive

January, February, March, April, May
I’m alive
June, July, August, September, October
I’m alive
November, December,
Yeah all through the winter, I’m alive, I’m alive

How 2008 sounded in my world

I love the charting features of last.fm, particularly to see what I have been listening to a lot lately – as I don’t always notice how perpetually I have some songs on repeat. Here’s what 2008 sounded like in my world, and why:

1. Emilie Simon – Fleur de Saison
   

   *le sigh*

   Apparently the absolute top song of 2008, and with very good reason. This song features all the  most basic elements necessary for me to adore it. Dramatic quiet intro, soon followed by an exquisitely driving beat. A  sexy chanteuse at the helm. An insanely imaginative, gorgeously CG-enhanced video that I never tire of watching. Lastly, it’s in French so I can memorize the lyrics and sing along while feeling very exotic and European. What’s not to love?

2. TV on the Radio – Satellite
   This song was on major repeat for my trip to Savannah this summer, and I suspect that’s how it snuck into the the top songs list. I can’t identify any particular lyric or point in the song that makes me love to listen to it, but it’s pretty much the ultimate driving music, and I listened to it when I was on my way to the beach, so it’s imbued with all that magical beachy goodness.
3. Daft Punk – Harder Better Faster Stronger
   Like the song above, this song has a mindlessly-repetitive quality to it that I apparently had great need of this year. I could sing it over and over again in the car without thinking about it, hypnotizing myself into driving to work rather than off a cliff.
4. Justin Timberlake – Cry Me a River
   I have never had a weakness for things Timberlakeian, until I saw that movie this summer with him and the kidnap victim kid. Then I started listening to his music, and this song in particular grabbed me. Again, it kinda surprises me that this made it into the top songs list, but there you go. Charts don’t lie.
5. Citizen Cope – Bullet and a Target
   This song I was actually introduced to via the Justin Timberlake movie I referenced above. I think it’s the end credits song. Grew to love all thing Citizen Cope, and never lost my fondness for this one, even though right now I am grooving much more on the track Sideways.
6. The Weepies – Riga Girls
   If this year had only one sound, it was absolutely the sound of The Weepies. In fact, if I extended my top list to 20 songs rather than 15, The Weepies (or one of their various solo components) would have nine of the top spots. The sound, the lyrics, the combination of sound+lyrics—it’s all perfect. This one “Just a little bit of snake-oil, tinfoil. It takes so little charm to keep you hanging on.” has that way of taking words that rightly shouldn’t mean as much as they do, and making them mean something so clearly that it pierces your soul quite painfully. I want to flinch away from that lyric, like it’s slapping me. I listened to this song over and over during the endlessly gray winter of the broken foot, when I couldn’t ever leave the house and no one ever came over.
7. Fall Out Boy – The Take Over, The Breaks Over
   I  have no clue why I listened to this song so much, and am vaguely ashamed of having Fall Out Boy on my top songs list. This was just another song that I listened to a lot on the way to and from work. Mindless, kept me moving forward rather than sideways.
8. Steve Tannen – Just a Little
   This, the boy half of The Weepies, has some amazing solo work, and the fact that I only got this album in July and this song still made the #8 spot says quite a bit about how much I love it. The lyric “300 miles, and I still miss your stupid face.” is the perfect crystallized expression for those people whom no distance can get out of your fucking head. But it’s the last verse that kicks me in the face every time I hear it.

   “You know what? Just forget it
   Name something and I regret it
   The sun sets like surrender
   And I guess I misremember that whole time
   And what your lips felt like on mine
   It was the sweetest fever dream
   You probably don’t know what I mean”
   

9. Maria Taylor – Irish Goodbye
   This woman is half of Azure Ray. Apparently she’s the half who doesn’t write the music that makes me want to open a vein. This song is all bonus because it’s her lovely voice but none of the angst. Beautiful beat and the somewhat incongruous rap sequence toward the end make it even more of a win. (FAIL= everyone on the internets thinking that the lyrics have something to do with “sequins” not being done yet, rather than the actual, sense-making lyrics of “The sequence still isn’t done yet.”)
10. Fischerspooner – Never Win
    God damn, do I love this song. This regular version and the remixed version of it. The lyrics and the brain-numbing beat, the repressed anger, the everything. Just go listen to it. Favorite lyric “I don’t need to need you. Tell me what to do. Tell me what to say.“
11. The Weepies – Take It From MeDon’t know how this one made it on here, it’s far from my favorite Weepies track, although it’s a good one. It’s the first track on the “say I am you” album, so maybe it’s oft-listened only for that reason.
12. The New Pornographers – Challengers
    This song is another one from the Savannah drive this summer, and somehow captures the cold longing for connection of two people getting ready to cheat on their partners — not only with the lyrics, but with the music too. An empty, hollow song. And the lyric (as I hear it, anyway) “Whatever the mess you are, you’re mine, okay?” says a lot of things that make me want to hug someone. No, not you. Fuck off.
13. Teddybears STHLM – Different Sound
    

    A disturbing, de-humanizing album cover.

    Love this song. Every time I listen to it, it makes me feel way cooler than I am. I like to imagine myself as that girl who moves to a different sound. But in a way that  is intriguing, not retarded.

14. Paris, Texas – Bombs Away (Danny Saber remix)
    Another song that makes me feel way cooler than I am, from the Blade Trinity soundtrack. The lyrics are way, way tastier than you’d expect from a garden variety hard-dancing, clubby type of song. And you know I  can’t resist the sound of someone saying “I’ve got a static aesthetic.” over and over.
15. The Weepies – Gotta Have You
    I think this one is left over from last year’s most loved, actually. But it’s worth it. This is the song that first introduced me to The Weepies, and I think it may still be my favorite. It’s another song from the long, lonely winter, and as such it still makes me cry whenever I hear it. And the way that Deb Talan breaks the “no whiskey/no wine” line in the third instance of the chorus is just genius, and I deny you to say otherwise.

There were a few surprises for me this year, namely that no Decemberists’ songs made the top 15 list, although that group remains my top-listened one. I suppose because I have  – oh holy crap – 74 tracks of theirs, and listen to them pretty much equally, no one song can make it to the top. I also thought I listened to The Killers “Read my Mind (Steve Bays Remix)” way more this year, but I guess that must have been last year.

...until you compare it with this one.

I guess the most personally impactful song of the year that didn’t make this list was Laura Veir’s “Cast a Hook in Me” —which at some point this summer I just had to stop listening to because it was too emotional for me. But it’s still amazing and noteworthy.

And that’s what this year sounded like. An eclectic mix of music that’s an accurate reflection of how roller-coastery a year it’s been in my head. For this next year, you must forgive me hoping for all of the highs and none of the lows—and much, much more great music.

Here’s a link to my top 2008 songs playlist – since last.fm won’t let you have any playlist less than 45 songs, it’s much longer than this.

Song of the Day – Joe Purdy “Why Do I”

Listen here

Late at night,
Midnight movie.
got no one to talk to,
No one to see.
and I am counting stars as I lie awake dear
I know you ain’t far,
But I know you ain’t here
with me.

So why do I get so lonely
when there really ain’t nothing wrong.
Cause I can sleep just fine when you hold me.
Can’t sleep at all when you’re gone.
Yeah and why why do I stay out drinking
When I should just get back home.
I guess the company of strangers.
Is better than drinking alone.

Too tired to sing.
Walking down the street.
And still cant sleep.
Just too many things,
I got running around my head.
Can’t put my thoughts to rest.
Think I’ll wait outside your door,
When you wake I will confess.

So why, why do I get so lonely when there really ain’t nothing wrong.
Cause I can sleep just fine when you hold me.
Can’t sleep at all when you’re gone.
Yeah, why why do I stay out drinking
When I should just get back home.
I guess the company of strangers.
Is better than drinking alone.

So why do I get so lonely when there really ain’t nothing wrong
cause I can sleep just fine when you hold me
cant sleep at all when you’re gone
Yeah, why, why do I stay out drinking when I should just get back home
Guess the company of strangers.
Is better than drinking alone.

So why do I get so lonely when there really ain’t nothing wrong.
So why do I get so lonely when there really ain’t nothing wrong.
So why do I get so lonely yeah there really ain’t nothing wrong.

Joe Purdy – “Why Do I?”

What I am Loving Lately

So, I am loving the new Lilly Allen single, “The Fear.”

I loved her debut album, which was fun and upbeat, with clever, snarky lyrics that had a big rude chunk of reality in them. Since then I’ve seen a few things in the tabloids about how fucked up she is now, and while I believe that, apparently so does she. This song is all about how confused she is, and how the world doesn’t make any sense to her. I can relate to that, and I can respect her for laying it out there. Also it’s got a good beat and I can dance to it.

I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear?
‘Cuz I’m being taken over by The Fear

Life’s about film stars and less about mothers
It’s all about fast cars and cussing each other
But it doesn’t matter cause I’m packing plastic
and that’s what makes my life so fucking fantastic

And I am a weapon of massive consumption
and its not my fault
it’s how I’m programmed to function
I’ll look at the sun and I’ll look in the mirror
I’m on the right track yeah I’m on to a winner

I am also loving the band HoneyHoney, which I heard for the first time via the TV show Life. (Which, seriously, has the best music from new artists that I’ve ever encountered. I love almost everything they play in that show.)

The song I heard first was “Little Toy Gun” which has this irresistible retro Spanish kind of vibe. (I think this song would have been on the Kill Bill soundtrack if it had been released before Kill Bill was. I know there’s a name for that style of music, and I can’t think of what it is.)

I know you sat alone so many nights waiting for me.
Cold, your face like a stone, I hang up the phone when we disagree.
Standing there by my side when the fighting is done,
glaring at me in the light is my little toy gun.

Shining in black like shoes on a rack with a trigger that’s dressed up in gold.
It’s always warm inside my home but its handle is always so cold.
Whispering into my ear, all the lies you spun.
My single greatest fear is my little toy gun.

Wait for the day when I can save face and come to a happy home.
I know it’s turning me to the kind of girl who’d rather be alone.
Just wait til I get my way — I promise you it won’t be fun.
If you feel like you should pray, pray for my little toy gun.

Today I was listening to more music from them, and I also really enjoy the song “Sugarcane” which is way more acoustic guitar up front than I usually go for, but it’s so clear and clean sounding, I can’t resist. This woman has the sexiest, huskiest voice. It’s lazy and relaxed and kinda smokey sounding. I like it lots.

I’m the salt in your sugarcane
but it’s not the taste that I blame
It’s not you or I,
‘cuz we try try try
the more we change the more things stay the same

Your eyes were red
mine painted black
my thin blue dress slit down my back
and you held me close
and you cried cried cried
‘cuz we both knew I wasn’t coming back

And maybe I
Have always been the one to say goodbye
And I won’t lie no
If I don’t stick around
You’re not gonna die

I should know better than to expect sense-making

So I am compulsively listening to a few tracks from the new bSpears album. It’s mildly embarrassing, because I want to feel like I am cooler than that, but I really loved Blackout for some reason, and a few of the tracks from Circus are really good. I soothe myself by remembering that they pay batrillions of dollars for the best songwriters/producers in the universe to come up with this music, and it’s not my fault if I like it. I have no choice. It’s been engineered to stick in my head. But still, even with the very best songwriters that money can buy, the title track Circus contains this puzzling line:

“I’m like a performer, the dance floor is my stage.”

Now… the thing is, she’s not LIKE a performer, she IS a performer. So what the heck? I mean, listening to the song it would have still fit to say “I’m a performer, the dance floor is my stage.”" just drawing the first few syllables out.

And I seriously don’t know why I expect logic, or care. But people were paid hot piles of cash to write that nonsensical lyric. So that’s weird.

What I Can’t Stop Listening To

Brendan Perry – Utopia

I am so hungry for new Brendan Perry, I feel like I can’t wait for next year. This is the teaser for the new album, and I love it already. I can’t ever adequately explain how Brendan Perry’s music captures the cynical romanticism of my personality, but somehow it’s like my whole life is in what he sings. And not in some self-pitying emo way either, but in a “kick your own ass and see what you can do and by the way it’s probably going to suck but do it anyway.” way.

I love him. Here are the lyrics to Utopia.

I feel greater than the sum of all my parts
A domestic beast with a hairy heart
Trapped within a walled suburbia

I’ve found my taste is somewhat underground
Between the shadows and the cracks
I’m building my utopia

I need to break free from all that binds
That makes me old before my time
In this world of dystopia

My love is like a bright guiding light
Shining in the darkness of the night
The star of my utopia

In the motion of the sea
in the air that we breathe
Can you feel me?

In the stars and in the trees
In the song of the bees
Can you hear me?

Caged, golden memories
Time has come
to show your true feelings

I know it’s the only way to be
When the same old feelings
come over me

I feel greater of all the sum of all my parts
A space jockey from a distant star
marooned upon dystopia

I’ve found my taste is somewhat underground
Between the shadows and the cracks
I am building my utopia

In the motion of the sea
In the air that we breath
Can you feel me?

In the stars and in the trees
In the song of the bees
Can you hear me?

Song of the Day – Imogen Heap, The Walk

Imogen Heap, The Walk

Inside-out,
Upside-down,
Twisting beside myself.
Stop that now,
‘Cause you and I were never meant to meet.
I think you’d better leave.
It’s not safe in here.
I feel a weakness coming on.

Alright then, (alright then.)
I could keep your number for a rainy day.
That’s where this ends.
No mistakes, no misbehaving.
I was doing so well.
Could we just be friends?
I feel a weakness coming on.

It’s not meant to be like this.
Not what I planned at all.
I don’t want to feel like this.
Yeah.
No it’s not meant to be like this.
Not what I planned at all.
I don’t want to feel like this.
So that makes it all your fault.

Inside-out,
upside-down,
Twisting beside myself.
Stop that now.
You’re as close as it gets
Without touching me.
Oh now don’t make it harder
Than it already is.
I feel a weakness coming on.

It’s not meant to be like this.
Not what I planned at all.
I don’t want to feel like this.
Yeah.
No it’s not meant to be like this.
Not what I planned at all.
I don’t want to feel like this.
So that makes it all your fault.

Big trouble losing control.
Primary resistance at a critical low.
on the, on the double gotta get a hold.
Point of no return one second to go.

No response on any level,
Red-alert this vessel’s under seige.
Total overload all systems down they’ve got control.
There’s no way out.
We are surrounded.
Give in, give in and relish every minute of it.

Freeze, awake here forever.
I feel a weakness coming on.

It’s not meant to be like this,
Not what I planned at all.
I don’t want to feel like this.
Yeah.
No it’s not meant to be like this,
It’s just what I don’t need.
Why make me feel like this?
It’s definitely all your fault.

Feel like this la la la la la la la la
It’s all your fault (feel like this) la la la la la la la la
It’s all your fault (feel like this) la la la la la la la la
It’s all your fault (feel like this) la la la la la la la la
It’s all your fault.

Song of the Day: Citizen Cope – Sideways

Citizen Cope: Sideways—listen free at last.fm

You know it ain’t easy
For these thoughts here to leave me
There’s no words to describe it
In French or in English
Well, diamonds they fade
And flowers they bloom
And I’m telling you
These feelings won’t go away
They’ve been knockin’ me sideways
They’ve been knockin’ me out lately
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won’t go away
They’ve been knockin’ me sideways
I keep thinking in a moment that
Time will take them away
But these feelings won’t go away

Song of the Day — Imogen Heap “Useless”

Imogen Heap – Useless – Listen free at Last.fm

I am a mirror, with no reflection
I am a razor, without my blade
I am the daylight, when the moon shines on
Who will want to make my sandcastle
That’s already made?

I feel so useless, do you?

Speak to an ear, deaf to my voice
Look through your fear, still blind to my way
I reach to hold you, but I don’t feel you there,
Do you even realise I’m here?
Am I just wasting away?
No wasting away
Living, inside you play

My dying prayer, sealed in a scream
Unwelcome, and a conscious dream
I am your whore, without a name
I climb to fall, to begin again, to begin again
I climb to fall, suffer, hatred, deceit and pain
Anger, regret, loving in vain

I am an arrow, with no direction
My life your tarot, my picture your fate
I’m your becoming, so I’ll always be nothing
If I ever break away from you
That day forth, you’ll be living my hate
Oh god help his fate
I’ll watch you, watch you suffocate