SOTD – My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult “Waiting for Mommie”

Today’s SOTD is pure flashback. See, I realized the other day that I didn’t have nearly enough TKK on my computer. Every time I am riding around with MyTodd™ listening to his iPod I get all in a TKK mood, and then get home and have nothing to listen to. This is because I bought most of my TKK stuff when I was in full-on WaxTrax! mode, and living in Chicago — so it’s pretty much all vinyl. Which means I have their albums and their 12″s out the fuck, but none of them are digitized. (Yeah, that project is still pending, whatever.)

Anyway, I went over to Todd’s the other night and copied borrowed a bunch of his stuff. I am therefore in full-on retro mood at the moment, and Waiting for Mommie is my song of the day. It’s somewhat subversive-feeling to blast TKK as one gets ready to come to the most horrifically boring and conservative job in the universe, full of rednecks in camouflage caps and guys who think Larry the Cable Guy is the height of wit… and that’s OK, because I don’t think I’ve been feeling subversive enough lately. Must up the subversion factor in my life.

Anyway, I love me some of this song. Although I think I have some remixes somewhere that I love better than the straight-up original version. I guess it’s a sign of my heinous old age that this song still sounds fresh and new to me, though it’s almost 20 years old. (Confessions of a Knife was originally released 1990 when I was one year fresh out of high school. le sigh.)

What’s interesting is that I have been listening to a lot of Combichrist lately, and their just-released song “Spit” reminds me of this. Much harder, but the same vibe, the same feeling. Although what counts as over-the-top enough to be offensive 20 years after we all became inured to TKK makes me laugh. Riding around in my car listening to some girl scream “I hate whore moms! Stupid cunt!” makes me think my mom didn’t know how lucky she had it back in the day when she was aggravated with this demonic imagery stuff.

My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult —Waiting for Mommie (listen here)

(“Okay…we’re gonna have a good time with this dear!”)

well everyone is tellin me that you have been real naughty
running round, starting troubles, playing with somebody
now mommy thinks it time for you to learn a little lesson
and check out who you’re dealin with, and who you be a messin

slam it, jam it, who cares what you do
take it, and make it, i’m comin for you
slam it, jam it, ride it, don’t stop
move it, groove it, when mommy’s on top

Get your hard ass over here
Don’t even try and run
Get your hard ass over here
Time for lesson number one
slam it, jam it, who cares what you do
take it, and make it, i’m comin for you

slam it, jam it, ride it, don’t stop
move it, groove it, when mommy’s on top

(“That’s enough tantrum for one day, lie
down, mother thinks you ought to
sleep it off!”)

(“Okay…we’re gonna have a good time with this dear!”
“Okay…we’re gonna have a good time with this dear!”)

well everybody’s is tellin me that you have been real naughty
running round, starting troubles, playing with somebody
now mommy thinks it time for you to learn a little lesson
and check out who you’re dealin with, and who you be a messin

Get your hard ass over here
Don’t even try and run
Get your hard ass over here
Time for lesson number one

slam it, jam it, who cares what you do
take it, and make it, i’m comin for you
slam it, jam it, ride it, don’t stop
move it, groove it, when mommy’s on top

SOTD – Necessary Response “Spilling Blood”

Been listening to a lot of this song lately. It’s one of those songs that you can’t listen to too loudly, or even loudly enough, it seems. It’s a pretty good driving song if your car stereo can handle it. Mine can’t, but since I still have the Mommymobile I have been rocking this like a hurricane.

It’s apparently of a genre called “futurepop” but since I can’t really tell the difference between futurepop, ebm, electropop and plain old industrial dance music like we had back in my day, I can’t really vouch for that. *waves cane frenetically* We didn’t need all these fancy-schmancy labels back in my day, we just needed to know they played it at the clubs we weren’t supposed to go to, and our dipshitty high-school classmates didn’t listen to it.

Anyway I love the sound, the lyrics, the way the beat makes me feel and the fact that it’s chock full of Donnie Darko samples. Who wouldn’t love that? So it’s the song of the day.

Full track is available for a listen at Last.fm, and I do believe you will enjoy it.

Necessary Response – Spilling Blood (listen at last.fm)

Stare with empty eyes
patiently I wait
aching for a sign
that I have been betrayed

We’re all fighting
to live here
survive the emptiness I know
because there’s no denying
we all die alone

She says she’s never been so alone
Don’t you care about me?
I’ve spillled my blood
stitched up and scarred up and numb
nothing else changes

Choke on your regret
and I will do the same
it’s selfish to forget
perhaps the only way

I’m not lying
believe me
I tried but look what you’ve become
what have I done?
I’ve made you this way, this way
go

You really couldn’t have it more wrong.

So this is two weeks in a row that my Friday experience has very negatively impacted my Saturday experience. Which makes me think that there are some changes needing to be made.

To be fair, I was pissed as all hell going into Friday, so it’s not surprising that I didn’t enjoy myself, but still I might have if everyone I ran into wasn’t such a total douchebag. I was edgy and irritable, I know, but that doesn’t change the fact that I was insulted in about 397 ways, and had to deal with some major fucktwats.

Seriously, when you’re talking to someone and they keep telling you that maybe you should shut up before you hurt their feelings, and then they are forced to say, “OK stop. Just stop talking now.” but you keep talking… then don’t be acting surprised when they have a negative reaction to the rest of what you’re saying, and possibly try to run you over with their car later in the evening.

And don’t get that shocked look on your face like “Why is this girl trying to run me over with her car?” Because you should intuit that shit way before I am forced to mow you down.What am I, made of some kind of non-feelings-having substance? Is it seriously OK to say anything to me, and expect me not to care? I am so tired of being polite, I am so tired of being nice, I am so tired of peacekeeping and making allowances for things people say to me – I am so, so tired of it. There is only so much a girl can take, OK? I know I am smiling on the outside, but on the inside I am six inches from stabbing you. Continue reading »

SOTD – Brett Dennen “Make You Crazy”

Brett Dennen “Make You Crazy” Listen to preview at last.fm

You know it’s hard to be yourself,
free yourself, to see yourself
When all around you there are lies just to get you,
Spies just to get you, to buy so they can get you

There are cameras in the sky, lasers in our living rooms
There are wolves watching wearing sheep’s costumes

It’s enough to make you go crazy
It’s enough to make you mad
It’s enough to make you go crazy
And I’m amazed I haven’t yet

Isn’t it a shame the way we cheat each other, treat each other,
beat each other?
It’s a shame the way we use one other, abuse one another,
and screw one another, it’s true.

They will lock you up in prison but they won’t call it slavery
There are stolen children raised and trained in armies

It’s enough to make you go crazy
It’s enough to make you mad
It’s enough to make you go crazy
And I’m amazed I haven’t yet

Don’t hesitate to speak your mind (Speak your mind)
Never hesitate to speak your heart (Speak your heart)
They’ll call you crazy when you speak your mind (When you speak your mind)
So never, never hesitate (Never hesitate)

‘Cause it’s enough to make you go crazy
It’s enough to make you mad
It’s enough to make you go crazy
And I’m amazed I haven’t yet

Na sol then go lock you for prison
Na sol then go beat you for prison
Them no call it slavery
It’s him that make me vex

Na sol then go lock you for prison
Na sol then go beat you for prison
It’s him that make me vex
It’s him that make me crazy

It’s enough to make you go crazy
It’s enough to make you mad
It’s enough to make you go crazy
And I’m amazed I haven’t yet

Song of the Day – Poe “Hey Pretty”

Poe – Hey Pretty (listen at blip.fm)

Well it’s 3 a.m.
I’m out here riding again
Through the wicked winding streets of my world
I make a wrong turn break it now I’m too far gone
I’ve got a siren on my tail and that ain’t the fine
I’m looking for

I see a stairway so I follow it down
Into the belly of a whale
Where my secrets echo all around
You know me now but to do better than that
You’ve got to follow me
Boy I’m trying to show you where I’m at

Hey pretty
Don’t you wanna take a ride with me?
Through my world
Hey pretty
Don’t you wanna kick and slide
Through my world?

Well I’ve got a mind full of wicked designs
I’ve got a non-stop, hole-in-my head imagination
I’m in a building that has two-thousand floors
and when they all fall down
I think you know it’s you they’re falling for
I can’t forget I am my sole architect
I built the shadows here
I built the growling voice I fear
You add it up but to do better than that
You’ve got to follow me
Boy I’m trying to show you where I’m at

Hey pretty
Don’t you wanna take a ride with me?
Through my world
Hey pretty
Don’t you wanna kick and slide with me
Through my world
Hey pretty
My pretty baby
Rock it through my world

Hey now – can’t you feel me longing?
Hey now
Feel me
(Do you get the gist of the song now?)

My pretty baby.

SOTD – Maria Taylor “Time Lapse Lifeline”

I’ve said before that Maria Taylor is just like Azure Ray, but without the compulsory suicidal thoughts while you listen. Her voice is hot smoky goodness, her lyrics are intelligent and require multiple re-listens, and somehow being separated from whoever else made  up Azure Ray also separated her from whatever maudlin influence made their music so goddamn bleak. (And I know, you might be thinking “What, her – objecting to melancholy?” But seriously they’re the only band I ever had to stop listening to because my mood was so dour when I was done.)

Anyway, that’s what makes me so excited about Maria Taylor’s solo stuff. All the good parts, none of the laying on the floor of your bedroom weeping into the carpet until you wet yourself.

This song is actually about death (Or, life really I guess.) and yet is not maudlin! Anyway, free download from last.fm means you need to give it a listen.

Maria Taylor—Time Lapse Lifeline (free download from last.fm)

I’m keeping up, keeping up with the time lapse lifeline
And they can run they can run from the font to the last rites*
And we can hear we can hear the first beat to the flat line
I’m keeping up, keeping up with the time lapse lifeline
And once it’s done

Oh we dreamed a life
It was just like that, was just like that
And just like that, and just like that it’s done

Back it up, back it up
Stop, fast-forward, rewind
And watch the sun watch the moon taking turns in the same sky
And you were dead as the leaves now you’re new like the spring-time
Back it up, back it up
Stop, fast-forward, rewind
And once it’s done

Oh we dreamed a life
It was just like that, was just like that
And just like that, and just like that it’s done
Oh we dreamed a life
It was just like that, was just like that
And just like that, and just like that it’s done

Still we stand with the help of a steady hand
Capture images, a boy a man
Till it’s done
And seven years combined is just the flicker of neon sign
Little negatives of hopes refined
Till they’re done, oh they’re done

Oh we dreamed a life
It was just like that, was just like that
And just like that, and just like that it’s done
Oh we dreamed a life
It was just like that, was just like that
And just like that, and just like that it’s done

*when I initially found these lyrics online this line read “from the farm to the last ride.” Which makes me kind of weep for the state of the world’s vocabulary and knowledge of religious ritual.

I’ll Put a Spell on You

A few months ago I was assembling a list of songs which sound like love songs but are really about stalking. I think i’ve found the ultimate song of that ilk, here below. Beautiful, and yet creepy as hell. This guy is trying to make a suit out of someone’s skin right here.

Other submitted songs are after the lyrics to this one. (Sorry, I forgot who submitted what – but I am always open to more submissions. I love creepy stalker songs.)

Aqualung – Strange and Beautiful

I’ve been watching your world from afar,
I’ve been trying to be where you are,
And I’ve been secretly falling apart,
Unseen.
To me, you’re strange and you’re beautiful,
You’d be so perfect with me but you just can’t see,
You turn every head but you don’t see me.

I’ll put a spell on you,
You’ll fall asleep and I’ll put a spell on you.
And when I wake you,
I’ll be the first thing you see,
And you’ll realise that you love me.

Yeah…
Yeah…

Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the first thing you want never comes,
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes…

I’ll put a spell on you,
You’ll fall asleep,
I’ll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I’ll be the first thing you see,
And you’ll realise that you love me.

I’ll put a spell on you,
You’ll fall asleep ‘cos I’ll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I’ll be the first thing you see,
And you’ll realise that you love me, yeah…

Joshua James – Tell My Pa

It’s hard for me to believe I like a song so much that has the word “Pa” in the title and is not about Little House on the Prairie. But there you have it.

Joshua James “Tell My Pa” from the album “The Sun is Always Brighter” listen at blip.fm

Come on love, Come on drugs
I need the help, pick me up.
I’m feeling low, the alcohol
Is wearing off.

The cocaine wore a hole inside
My bitter soul, my foolish pride.
Call my pa, tell you saw me
Hangin here.

The blood it stains,
The carpet well,
You ran and told,
Somebody else.
But now its gone,
The need I felt,
The cocaine drug,
Inside my head.
Please leave me hangin here
Please leave me hangin here
Please leave me hangin here
Please leave me hangin here

Come on love, Come on drugs
I need the help, pick me up.
I’m feeling low, the alcohol
Is wearing off.

The blood it stains,
The carpet well,
You ran and told,
Somebody else.
But now its gone,
The need I felt,
The cocaine drug,
Inside my head.
Please leave me hangin here
Please leave me hangin here
Please leave me hangin here
Please leave me hangin here

Come on love, Come on drugs
I need the help, pick me up.
I’m feeling low, the alcohol
Is wearing off

Song of the Fridays – We Are Scientists “This Scene is Dead”

Does everyone else listen to We Are Scientists? It’s not a band I hear people talk about much, but they’re pretty awesome. I fell in love with this band for “The Great Escape” (which is my 50th top-listened song of the last three years, according to last.fm and it really got me through my first NaNo experience, but that’s another story.) but the song below really seems to� have encapsulated my Friday night experiences lately. I love when songs do that. Now I want to hug it. But I can’t. It’s a song.

We Are Scientists – This Scene is Dead (listen via favtape)

This scene is dead, but I’m still restless
An hour or so until last call, I guess
I shouldn’t even be here, much less
Drinking myself into excess

But I’m not going home till I’m done

Well come on, it can’t go on*
Well come on, it can’t go on
Well come on, you can’t go home
The night is young
I’m blacking out
But it’s been fun

Well everything’s another excuse
To keep from doing what I want to
Like I would really love to kiss you
But I guess I’m in no condition

I’m not going home with no one

Well come on, it can’t go on
Well come on, it can’t go on
Well come on, you can’t go home
The night is young
I’m blacking out
But it’s been fun

Well I said that’s it I’m not going home with no one
Not going home with no one
Not going home with no one

Well come on, it can’t go on
Well come on, it can’t go on
Well come on, you can’t go home
The night is young
I’m blacking out
But it’s been fun

You can’t go home
The night is young
I’m blacking out
But it’s been fun

*this lyric sounds more like “come on and get gone” to me, but who am I to argue with random internet lyric-typers?

Song of The Day – The Poems “Can You Come for Me?”

The Poems – Can You Come for Me? Listen at last.fm

Typically I’ve been waiting
When I had it
I gave it away

Certainly I could keep it
I don’t need it
Unless you’re here

Can you come for me?
Can you come for me?
Can you come for me baby?
Can you come for me baby?
Can you come for me?

One more day… one more night
One more time one more time
Can you come for me?

Eternally anticipating
I’m in crisis everyday
Especially when I’m waiting
For someone who’s never there

Can you come for me?
Can you come for me?
Can you come for me baby?
Can you come for me baby?
Can you come for me?

One more day… one more night
One more time one more time
Can you come for me?

It’s a tense situation
It just won’t go away
It exceeds expectation
Seems to happen everyday
Just a moment’s hesitation
And it all slipped away

Oh don’t stop now

F**k a bunch of insomnia

Out until 2:30 last night, in bed by 3:00, up by 7:00 – not tired. Fuck that. How can I fail at something as fucking FAIL as sloth, for fuck’s sake? I would have liked to stay in bed all day – wake up all surprised at 4pm like “OMG how did it get to be so late?” and then wander around in my PJs eating cereal and watching TV. I am attempting to lead a dissolute kind of lifestyle up in here, people. Instead I am up at the asscrack of Saturday dawn, freezing and aggravated. And this is on the back of getting pretty much no sleep at all this week, and not being able to nap yesterday afternoon.

I had a shitty night last night – completely of my own design – and plan to have an even shittier day today, resenting Mardi Gras parades and the drunken, teeming throngs of fuckwits they represent, resenting MyTodd™ going to that stupid party I don’t want to go to and making it so I have nothing to do tonight, resenting myself for not wanting to go, resenting this stupid-ass holiday for existing in the first place and basically feeling like the wrong sort of person in the wrong sort of world.

Because I can take my own happy ass out and do whatever the fuck I want without a security blanket – I know I can. But I don’t know if I will, even though it would make me happy to do it. And I hate my whole everything for that even being my god-damned dilemma. I am too old and too smart for this bullshitty way of being. So I resent me and the world and life too. And I know that sucks and is a shitty attitude and I should be a different, shiny happy kind of person. But at the same time I am sick to fucking death of people asking me why I am not a different, happy-shiny kind of person.

I am JUST NOT.

BECAUSE, that’s why.

Sometimes people throw away happiness with both hands because that’s really all they can think to do with it. Maybe happiness is heavy, I don’t fucking know.

Edit: After talking to a friend of mine, apparently things are not as much my fault as I thought they were, and other people are also much to blame. This soothes my savage insomnia beast a little. I don’t know if it’s harder to assume everything’s my fault, or harder to realize some things can’t be my fault because they’re out of my control.

Damien Rice – Woman Like a Man (listen at blip.fm)

You wanna get boned,
You wanna get stoned,
You wanna get a room like no one else.
You wanna be rich,
You wanna be kitsch,
You wanna be the bastard of yourself.
You wanna get burned,
You wanna get turned,
You wanna get fucked inside out.
You wanna be ruled,
You wanna be fooled,
You wanna be a woman like a man,
Like a woman like a man.

Song of the Morning – LCD Soundsystem “Someone Great”

I’ve been really wanting/needing things with monotonous, driving beats lately. I want to listen and think and not-think all at once. A little bit of driving the thoughts out of my head, a little bit of letting the thoughts percolate peacefully.

This song fits that engage brain/don’t engage bill brain, and has these curiously sad and poignant lyrics as well. I only got into LCD Soundsystem within the last 6 months or so – and mostly for the much-livelier “Daft Punk is Playing at My House” which I love to death. They’re geeky plus you can dance to them, and that’s a winning combo for me. But then this quiet, relentless little song captured my attention on the way to work this morning.

LCD Soundsystem – Someone Great listen at last.fm

I wish that we could talk about it,
But there
that’s the problem.
With someone new I could have started,
Too late
for beginnings.
The little things that made me harassed,
Are gone
in a moment.
I miss the way we used to argue,
Locked
in your basement.

I wake up and the phone is ringing,
Surprised
as it’s early.
And that should be a perfect warning,
That something’s
a problem.
To tell the truth I saw it coming,
The way
you were breathing.
But nothing can prepare you for it,
The voice
on the other, end.

The worst is all the lovely weather,
I’m sad
it’s not raining.
The coffee isn’t even bitter,
Because
what’s the difference?
There’s all the work that needs to be done,
It’s late
for revision.
There’s all the time and all the planning,
And songs
to be finished.

And it keeps coming,
And it keeps coming,
And it keeps coming,
Till the day it stops
And it keeps coming,
Till the day it stops.

I wish that we could talk about it,
But there
that’s the problem.
With someone new I could have started,
Too late
for beginnings.
You’re smaller than my wife imagined,
Surprised
you were human.
There shouldn’t be this ring of silence,
But what
are the options?

When someone great is gone.

We’re safe, for the moment.
Saved,
For the moment

Song of the Moment – The Rosebuds “Life Like”

I got this album as a free download from Paste.com, as I recall. I was immediately taken with this song, Life Like. It’s dark and creepy, with a steady relentless beat. I like it lots. It’s been on heavy rotation in the car for a month or two, and I keep liking it better each time I hear it. I can’t vouch for the accuracy of the lyrics, but this seems to be a close approximation (enough for me to discover the song is actually about taxidermy, at least.)

The Rosebuds – Life Like - listen at myspace

I know a clean way out, the vandals made it low
The day so lean, the nighttime slips in a song
There was a shot way out, down past Varina
I burn my bed and run naked in the winter

Well oh well, the pines are getting to me
consider my life
I’m wild but I’m not free

By all accounts it was a heavy snow
Brown is black by contrast I’m aglow
I hear, “Wait! You! I’m a man, you’re the beast!”
But I’m just running so how can that be?

Well oh well, the pines are getting to me
consider my life
I’m wild but I’m not free
Well oh well, the pines are getting to me
believe me my eyes,
There’s a thousand left like me

Reconstruct my body, capture me in flight
Glue in resin marbles, give me shiny eyes
Life like

Song of the Day – Over the Rhine “Entertaining Thoughts”

I had this song playing in the back of my brain this morning, telling me it was the song of the day. I am glad I listened – it was right.

Over the Rhine – Entertaining Thoughts – Download it free from last.fm!

I’ve been entertaining thoughts
Of what I wanna say to you
I’ve been entertaining thoughts
Of what I’m gonna do
I’ve been saving what I got
And wondering who to give it to
I’ve been entertaining thoughts all over you

The way this works is so mysterious
If it gets much worse it’s called delirious
If I were mad I would be furious
But this could be so much more than
Just another euphemism for…

I’ve been entertaining thoughts
Of what I wanna say to you
I’ve been entertaining thoughts
Of what I’m gonna do
I’ve been saving what I got
And wondering who to give it to
I’ve been entertaining thoughts all over you

You smoke your cigarette
And wonder if it’s happened yet
The heavens slowly part and you ascend
I wish that I could say that I’ll have no regrets
But I may have one or two
Or three or four more than you…

You will never even know
Till it hits you fool
Ooh, but I’m entertaining thoughts
All over you

Song of the Day (Again, and Again) – Poe, Wild

Listen here.

Poe – Wild (from the CD “Haunted”)

I go wild ’cause you break me open
Wild ’cause you left me here
I go wild ’cause your promises are broken

Wild because the chips are down
Wild because there isn’t anybody else around
Wild when the waves start to break
And God knows they’re breaking in me now

I go wild because it doesn’t make sense
For me to cry out in my own defense
and wild because I would do anything
To tear you off your precious fence

So this is what it’s like living in limbo
First I’m high, then I’m so low

I go wild ’cause you break me open
Wild ’cause you left me here
I go wild ’cause your promises are broken
Wild when I know you’re near
I go wild, I go wild

Tell me what you’ve come for
Moving like a hunter through my back door
Leaving the perfume of all you adore
To die nameless on my floor

Yeah well we both know that you don’t play fair
I guess you really think that you get me there
Let’s be honest perhaps this little ride
Is too much for even you to bear

You’ve got some nerve to come back here
You’re not the only one who can smell fear

I go wild ’cause you break me open
Wild ’cause you left me here
I go wild ’cause your promises are broken
Wild, don’t you get it dear?
You’re not the only one who runs on instincts
No I’ve got instincts of my own

You’ve got a lot of nerve to come back
Plan your attack, yeah I am still waiting
Did you want something?
You wrote the rules to try to contain me
You broke ‘em now you have untamed me
and I’m wild, I go wild

Tell me what you’ve come for
What is it you adore?
Won’t you tell me?
What would cry for, swallow your pride for
What would you go wild for?

You’ve got a lot of nerve to come back here
Speak up my darling
I have been waiting