One for the DUH! files

Report: Abstinence not curbing teen sex – Yahoo! News

WASHINGTON – Programs that focus exclusively on abstinence have not been shown to affect teenager sexual behavior, although they are eligible for tens of millions of dollars in federal grants, according to a study released by a nonpartisan group that seeks to reduce teen pregnancies.

“At present there does not exist any strong evidence that any abstinence program delays the initiation of sex, hastens the return to abstinence or reduces the number of sexual partners” among teenagers, the study concluded.

Although I have to make a comment for clarity’s sake – if actual abstinence was happening it would indeed be curbing teen sex. Abstinence curbs any sex, really. Severely. So obviously this crap headline should read “Abstinence-only education not curbing teen sex” However that doesn’t mean it’s not also cross-posted with the “ya think?” tag.

Stupid Headline of the Day

Storms bring needed rainfall, power outages

Yeah, we were running behind on power outages this year, it’s nice we’ve caught up.

Maybe it’s just my dirty mind

But I think this is a crap headline – it makes me feel like my tax money going to NASA isn’t being well spent:

Repairs weighed as NASA studies gash

I did have an Urban Decay lipgunk once called “Gash” which led to a funny conversation with a sales clerk who obviously didn’t know the other usage of the word. She said something to the effect of what a funny, aggressive name that was, like “Look out, or I will stab you with my gash!” And of course for weeks afterwards my friends and I would try to contort into various body positions to make such a thing possible. It only worked if the person getting stabbed was compliant, is what we finally determined.

Stupid headline of the day

Strong 6.1 magnitude quake rocks southern Mexico | Reuters

OK, 6.1 is too specific of a description of the quake to need the adjective “strong.” Could it have been a weak 6.1? If it had read “strong quake rocks” then fine. But don’t say generic “strong” and then highly specific “6.1″ all at once. You tools.

Worst Headline of the Day

“Katrina brought a wave of Hispanics“

Wow, and here I thought waves of salt water, raw sewage, chemical stews, human remains, etc. Who knew there were whole oceans full of Hispanics out there, ready to be washed ashore?

God Bless ‘Em, They Haven’t Even Got Spellcheck

Good old Post-Dispatch. They’ve invented a new word. In case they change it later, here’s what the caption for this photo reads now:

May 29, 2007: Sharon Perko, kindergarten teacher, crys as she walks students out to their buses at Stephen Blackhurst Elementary School on the last day of school.

See if you can spot the error!

STLtoday – News – St. Charles

Local Paper Does it Again

Though they may change it later, at the moment the headline for this story reads:

 ”An about 100-year old house gets moved to preserve it”

STLtoday – News – St. Charles

100 year-old Home Transported for Preservation

Transportation Saves 100 year-old Home

Early 19th Century Farmhouse Saved on Flatbed

I mean, off the top of my head at 6:30 a.m. I think any of those would be better than this vague (about) informal (gets moved) preposition-ending (to preserve it) big hot mess of hard to understand words.

Also, I dreamt that I was living in the film “Weekend at Bernie’s”

Happy Tuesday.

“Journalism” sucking more than ever

I guess it’s not enough that journalists have submitted for 6.5 years to the Bush Machine, barely registering when things have not occured in real life like they did in GWB’s press releases. We have seen over and over that they just print what they’re handed and…well… go out for drinks I guess.

But even in a non-political arena, it seems that they have they just given up. Have all standards of decent journalism been dropped in favor of the lazy, the “lick and a promise” (as my grandma would say) style of researching and writing? I know that the web and texting are supposed to be affecting students’ ability to write correctly, but one would assume that most journalists are (A) adults and (B) graduates of some kind of advanced writing course. And where are the editors who let this stuff slip by? Our first case in point: in Sunday’s (05/06/07) Washington Post, Joel Garreau writes this little ditty:

Humans have long displayed an uncanny ability to make emotional connections with their manufactured helpmates. Car owners for generations have named their vehicles. In “Cast Away,” Tom Hanks risks his life to save a volleyball named Wilson, who has become his best friend and confidant. Now that our creations display elements of intelligence, however, the bonds humans forge with their machines are even more impressive. Especially when humans credit their bots with saving their lives.  

Can anyone spot the problem here? Could it be that Tom Hanks never risked his life for any volleyball, but his character in a movie (a work of fiction, for those who may have forgotten) did so. Last time I checked, using human behavior seen in movies to predict and illustrate real-life human behavior is probably not a good idea. For one thing, those doing so would be extremely disappointed that women are not all 5’2″ lithe nympho gymnasts in $400 heels, most men don’t have abs like the ones in 300 and life rarely wraps itself up prettily with no loose ends. Seriously, how did the editor not catch this?

Bots on the Ground – washingtonpost.com

Case in point #2 – The St. Louis Post Dispatch is particularly egregious with stories posted online. For example, I kept looking for the pun in this story, until I realized that it was just a big fat error.

Missouri’s virtual school expected to be a dig draw
By
ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
05/05/2007

The director of Missouri’s first virtual school on the Internet is expecting a rush of applications when online registration for the program starts Monday.

There was another one which almost had me writing an LTE today, but they’ve already changed it online. Wish I had saved it. It was this story which said this morning in its opening paragraph that the teen had threatened the couple that he would kill them unless they gave him a whole bunch of money. A “whole bunch” of money. That phrase wasn’t used as a direct quote, it was used as a descriptive term. Way to quantify that, thanks buddy. Is that more than a “passel” and less than “scads”?  Again, was this piece edited? Apparently not before it was posted but after. I understand deadlines, but dang.

Readers are lazy, journalists are lazy, the whole freaking 4th estate is becoming a pack of drooling zombies of disinformation, delivered with bad grammar.

Anyway, that’s all for today.

If we’d only known this was what it would take…

Iraqi leaders say bombing will unite them – Yahoo News

Crap Headlines

Whenever you have to read a headline more than four times to ascertain its meaning, it’s a crap headline. Like today’s from the NYT.

A Cry to Limit Chinese Imports Rings at Paper Mill

and here’s another one

Vets’ care outcry claims a casualty