OK what?

OK is this just an insane image/headline juxtaposition, or is it just me?

At least the weather will be nice… for your MURDER!

Sloppy Journalism or Crappy Headline?

I was excited to view this slideshow from the Chicago Tribune, ostensibly about animals who were once thought extinct now reappearing in the wild.

The header for the slideshow reads:

“Reappearing in the Wild: Creatures once thought extinct now have a second chance.”

Which would lead one to believe that it was about… I dunno, presumed-extinct creatures reappearing in the wild? However of the animals listed:

1. South China Tigers – considered extinct, most recent photo proved to be a hoax (not reappearing in the wild)
   
2. Black Footed Ferrets - Have been reintroduced via breeding program
3. African Manatees (image shown is NOT of an African manatee) these are considered extinct, though “some scientists argue that this is not the case.” WTH?  (not reappearing in the wild)
   
4. Ivory Billed Woodpecker – considered extinct, though someone claims to have spotted one, though scientists now think that spotting may have been a case of mistaken identity. Again – WTH? I think I saw Bigfoot, but maybe I didn’t, and some scientists think I was drunk on tequila shooters that night. This passes for reporting? (not reappearing in the wild)
   
5. Palos Verdes Blue Butterfly – has been reintroduced to the wild, and has a really pretty picture, to boot.
6. Attenborough’s long-beaked echidna – thought extinct, was rediscovered in 2007
7. Red Wolf - highly endangered, breeding programs are helping it to survive in the wild
8. Baiji Dolphin – A 6-week journey in their habitat failed to spot even one of these rare dolphins, leading them to be considered extinct. However “hope was rekindled a year later when scientists claimed they may have spotted one.” *sigh* (not reappearing in the wild)
   
9. Miss Waldron’s red colobus monkey – considered extinct, however photos “may prove the species still exists” (not reappearing in the wild)
   
10. Quagga mare – is extinct, and some guy is trying to breed “Quagga-like zebras” Someone trying to breed something similar is NOT the same as them reappearing in the wild. (not reappearing in the wild)
    
11. Tasmanian tiger – extinct. Someone replicated one of their genes in a mouse. “raising the long-term possibility of bringing the animal back to life.” Interesting, but NOT “reappearing” by a long shot. (not reappearing in the wild)

So… seven of the eleven animals discussed show absolutely no concrete evidence of reappearing in the wild. Was this the most badly researched slideshow feature of all time, or was this reporter the subject of some kind of crappy-headline malfeasance by an obtuse editor-person at the Tribune? Whichever, it’s sloppy as hell of the paper to publish this under that header.

Stupid PD Headline of the Day

Their headline: Radioactive landfill cover is criticized

My thought: OMG, where do they get (and why would they use) a radioactive landfill cover?

Their actual meaning: “Covering [rather than removal of] radioactive landfill is criticized.”

WTPF? Bad Blood-Drive Headline

St. John’s Mercy Blood Donor Services Blood Drives

This headline meets the “If you have to read it more than three times to make sense of it, it’s a crap headline.” rule.

Maybe they want to stay away from the beer?

“Beer-food event hosted by Family Violence Council”

The St. Louis Family Violence Council is hosting “All in Good Taste” — a beer and food tasting event from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. Tuesday at Lumen, 2201 Locust Street.

To be fair, I don’t know if I can really call this a crap headline, as the event itself is kind of ridiculous, in context. But the headline is badly written, no matter how stupid the subject matter is.

American Medical Association notes on link between domestic violence and alcohol abuse.

Oddball Headline of the Day

N.J. Cop Shot in Stabbing Case

I assume that the actual article makes this headline make sense. But really.

Crap Headline

Now this is a truly crap headline. The grammar there makes my stomach hurt.

STLtoday – News – Illinois News

“After shootings, NIU student from here calls dad”

HOLY SHIT! TOTALLY UNEXEPECTED!

A doctor offers suggestions for treating sick kids

HOooooLLEEEEE SHIT! I mean, I have known of doctors who do a lot of things, but offer suggestions to treat SICK KIDS? What the HELL? I mean, that’s just INSANE!

The Post Dispatch gets fucking lamer every day it’s in existence, I think.

His Buddy Got Charged With “Baseball Bat”

Bad headline of the day, courtesy Yahoo! News:

Man charged with knife at Clinton office

Suicide rate for middle-aged rises 20%

CDC: Suicides among middle-aged spikes – Yahoo! News*

ATLANTA – The suicide rate among middle-aged Americans has reached its highest point in at least 25 years, a new government report said Thursday.
The rate rose by about 20 percent between 1999 and 2004 for U.S. residents ages 45 through 54 — far outpacing increases among younger adults, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported.

In 2004, there were 16.6 completed suicides per 100,000 people in that age group. That’s the highest it’s been since the CDC started tracking such rates, around 1980. The previous high was 16.5, in 1982.

Experts said they don’t know why the suicide rates are rising so dramatically in that age group, but believe it is an unrecognized tragedy.

They don’t know why? Money. Money is why. Jesus. How dumb are these “experts”?

*Subject/verb agreement, Yahoo! Google it.

This was some kinda bait and switch

Man-sized sea scorpion claw found

SO I got all “Whoa! If the claw was “man sized” how big was the the freaking scorpion?! But upon reading the article they clearly meant “Fossilized Claw of Man-sized Sea Scorpion Discovered”

Crap headline? You be the Judge.

STLtoday – News – Law & Order
Man dies after driving into lake in a field

Let me know what you think of this one, peeps. I say it’s crap.

Anti-Choice Agenda Check!

OK, it’s amazing how warm and fuzzy this dead couple with the dead “unborn baby” are made to seem in this article – now that a drunk driver took them out. Had they been alive any article about them might have focused on how this 30-year-old statutory rapist guy impregnated his 18-year-old, high-school dropout girlfriend and didn’t marry her. But now that they’re all dead, it’s just warm fuzzy baby clothes stories and “Oh The Humanity!” of her “unborn baby” aka 2nd trimester fetus. Someone’s anti-choice agenda is showing…

Alleged drunken driver kills couple, unborn baby

By Leah Thorsen
ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
11/14/2007

GRANITE CITY — A young couple killed by an alleged drunk driver as they walked on a Granite City street had been expecting their first child and had chosen the baby’s name, a family member said Tuesday.

Mary Drayton, 18, was six months pregnant, authorities said. She was walking with her boyfriend, Jerimiah Phelps, the baby’s father, on Monday night in the 3100 block of Missouri Avenue when they were struck by a car. They were on their way to a friend’s house.

Bolding mine:

Phelps, a 30-year-old construction worker, had moved in with the Drayton family in Granite City about 10 days before the fatal crash, she said. They had been dating on and off for about two years.

Continue reading »

“Rolling shootout?”

What, were they out of gas? I seriously don’t understand the term.

ST. LOUIS: Cars’ rolling shootout injures teen bystander

11/13/2007

St. Louis police were searching for two vehicles involved in a rolling shootout that injured a bystander Sunday night.

A dark van and dark green Chrysler Sebring drove down Maffitt Avenue near Newstead Avenue about 10 p.m., with occupants firing 12 to 14 shots at each other, police said.

A boy, 17, who lives in the neighborhood was hit in the leg by a stray bullet, police said.

Also, crap headline of the day “Politicians increase conduct state business on private e-mail accounts” Yeah, I know you meant “increasingly” – but should I have to interpret the headlines? Really?