Different Viewpoints, Different Advice

November 22nd, 2007

So, I will blog in detail about this later, but super cluster-fuck has hit at work and I have been working 12+ hour days for the last two weeks, plus bringing work home, plus working weekends. It’s been, in short, the suck of all sucks. And guess what? NaNoWriMo is hard to do in the 5.5 hours of sleep you get a night, since that’s the only spare time I have. So I am fucked. I was at 20,000 words, then somehow lost a document that sent me back to 18,000 or so.

I simultaneously:

A) understand how circumstances beyond my control and beyond my imagination even have conspired to make this goal practically impossible at this point. Not just for lack of time, but for the fact that my brain is fried. If there’s one day in the last 14 that I haven’t cried more than once and/or gone manic on someone, I don’t remember it. I can barely do coherence right now, much less creativity.

B) Hate myself for being a useless non-goal meeting asshat who can’t even commit to a damn thing and get it done. Asshole. we Susans have the high self-expectations, you know.

I get that I am and will likely remain conflicted about the situation. What’s funny is the varying things said to me by the three people I have kvetched about this to.

Online friend: artificial deadlines can be blown off sans guilt (paraphrased)

MyTodd™: Extend your deadline. Why can’t you finish it during your vacation in December? You couldn’t have predicted that this was all going to happen this month.

Mommy Dearest: I don’t know why you don’t use the next 4 days to finish what you started. It seems like if you’re a writer you should sit down and it would just flow, and you can get it done.

One begins to understand where and how Susans have developed their unreasonably high self-expectations, no?

Also I broke down and bought Blackout, and dammit, I like it. I understand that this is the product of a dream-team of writers and producers, not the Lady Spears herself. But that’s OK because they did a great freaking job. This is a good-sounding album, and I wanna dance to it. So there.

Music : Britney Spears - Freakshow

Filed under: NaNoWriMo, writing | Comments (2)

2 Responses to “Different Viewpoints, Different Advice”

jenipants on November 22, 2007 6:16 am
First of all, I hate you so hard for perpetuating the cycle of retardedness that is the Brit. Ok, so I dont’ hate you. But, I’m glaring in the direction of St. Louis, just so you know. It’s not about the music, it’s the principal of the thing. *g*

Also, In no particular order, you know your mom doesn’t understand, “Online Friend” needs punched in the teeth, and YourTodd™ appears to be truly trying to help and make you feel better by saying what he thinks you need to hear.

Also, you’re not useless. I love you, and you need a physical hug right now.
Heidi on November 22, 2007 9:39 pm
Other online friend: You’re going to make yourself sick stressing out about it if you keep going like this. :-( Even Stephen King has times when he can’t and/or doesn’t write. And he doesn’t have to hold down a day job.

Plus if you’re stressed out and exhausted and crying all the time, how good do you think whatever you write is going to be? Not up to your usual standard, which means you’ll be beating yourself up all over again. :-(

Also, I don’t think your mom has the slightest concept of what it takes to actually sit down and write something.