Underworld

09/22/03  “Underworld”

Starring:Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Bill Nighy, Danny McBride, Michael Sheen

Directed By:Len Wiseman

Rating:Off the Rag

Plot Summary: Set in the secret nocturnal and supernatural world of vampires and werewolves, two groups that have been at war for centuries, this is the story of a romance between a female vampire warrior, Selene (Beckinsale), who’s famous for her strength and werewolf-hunting prowess, and a peace-loving human, Michael (Speedman), who wants to end the war.

I have to say from the beginning that I have NO idea why the critics are panning this movie like they are. From the previews I had wanted to see it, but then several reviews I read, most notable that in Salon led me to believe I was in for a clichéd groan-fest when I agreed to go with friends to see this movie on Saturday night. I was very pleasantly surprised. (note to girl at the front of the 20+ person line at the only open cashier window: Saturday night at 7:20 is NOT the time to start asking the cashier what each movie at the cineplex is about. Really.) Anyway, I was snuggled into stadium seating with my large rootbeer and very meager expectations, when I was confronted with the lovely imagery and sound of this film.

As one would expect of a vampire film, the lighting is dark, the city is that ubiquitous metropolis you can’t quite place, and everything looks slightly damp. The heroines dress in black leather, the bad guys skulk in sewers and have ratty facial hair, and the blondes are all only out for what they can get.

This being the tone, let us follow Selene (Kate Beckinsale) into a world where humans exist as only so much temporary background noise/food source. On an immortal scale, the vampires are at war with the Lycans (werewolves.) Like several middle eastern conflicts raging today, it’s a centuries old war that no one can quite remember why they’re fighting, but the vampires have the distinct upper hand, having hunted the Lycans to near extinction. This is why Selene is surprised when her crew of three vampire “Death Dealers” is attacked in full view of the public by three Lycans. She’s even more astonished when one of her team is killed by a new Lycan weapon – a gun that shoots bullets filled with ultraviolet light.

Selene soon sorts out that the Lycans were hunting a human man that night, and not for food. She tries to tell the vampire coven leader (Kraven – it’s a terrible, obvious name, and I hate to even type it here, so I am going to call him Jeff) Anyway, she tells Jeff that she thinks they need to further investigate this, but he’s just way more interested in getting into her hot, tight, little black leather trousers. (Which I can’t quite understand, because I think there would be sweatiness issues.)

Determined to follow up on her own, Selene soon finds that everything she thought she knew might be a lie, and the people she thought she could trust are the ones she’s soon to be running from. It’s a very well thought out plot, and the story is obviously the set up for a franchise. I for one can’t wait for the next installment.

The effects in this movie were well done. The Lycans and their transformations from human to wolf and back were subtle and scary and shown only in glimpses, so your imagination fills in horrors beyond what film could have possibly shown. The worst of the violence is handled that way throughout the film, so you KNOW that the one guy just had his head ripped off and the bloody stump of his spinal column is probably sticking out and covered in gristle, but all you see is shadows, and all you hear is crunching noises. It’s much more effective than gallons of red corn syrup or crazy CGI effects.

The lighting and photography were stellar, and the soundtrack was impeccably selected (Skinny Puppy and Lisa Germano together on a disc? It’s genius.)

I highly reccomend this film, for anyone with a taste for the intelligent vampire genre. Reject all the stuff you hear about this being a lame “Matrix” rip-off – those reviewers didn’t have an idea in hell what this movie was trying to do.

Official website Underworld

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