Guarantees You Just Don’t Get Anymore
So the school where I work is working on archiving a lot of historical items, which means that they end up in our office a lot of the time before they find a permanent home. Seeing the old tools and class photos is fascinating. When we get bored at meetings we have a tendency to start looking at class pictures from 1926 or whenever, and try to ascertain who was class clown, who was the asshat suckup that everyone hated, which guys were friends, etc. Much funner and easier to understand if you could actually see these photos.
Anyway, there are all kinds of little odds and ends that we have on our shelves, and this week I noticed this one. Not only did I learn a completely new word:
lev·i·gate: (l
v
-g
t
)
1. a. To make into a smooth, fine powder or paste, as by grinding when moist.
b. To separate fine particles from coarse by grinding in water.
2. To suspend in a liquid.
3. To make smooth; polish.
But I also fell in love with this marketing phrase, which I pretty much guarantee you won’t find on any kind of modern product - Absolutely free of anything injurious
Now, contrast that with our products today which carry warnings about not using hair dryers in one’s sleep. I just love that phrase. I am going to try to work it into everyday conversation as often as possible from now on. You know, that would maybe make a great tag line here, really. superBadBlog - absolutely free of anything injurious!
And don’t hate, here’s a scan of the box in case you don’t believe me:
One Response to “Guarantees You Just Don’t Get Anymore”
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A friend of mine has a peanut and almond allergy and when we were at college (*cough* 16 *cough* years ago) he didn’t have too much trouble getting around it.
Nowdays almost anything he buys in a shop or a restaurant has “May contain traces of nuts” even though the people making it know damn well they haven’t used nuts in it - they’re just covering themselves so they can say later “His own fault he killed himself”. :evil: