Desperation, it’s in the air

August 7th, 2007

You know, common knowledge is really a bunch of crap. You would assume that there would be more women than men online, right? And that the women would desperately be searching for mates and the guys would be trying to play the field. You’d assume. Based on popular culture myths. But I am starting to think that’s not true. The female profiles I see are like this (I made this up, it’s not a real person): I am 35 with a bachelor’s degree in XXX and I am working on my masters in XXX. I own my own home and sell gourmet pickles on the side. I love to read, attend plays, I am politically active and I run my neighborhood watch program. I am just looking for someone to date casually, nothing serious at this time.

And the guys profiles are completely the opposite. They’re looking for a wife, they want to have kids, they are looking for True Love. And even if they say they aren’t, they seem like they are. I am chatting with a few different guys now, nice ones. But (and this can be me and my introversion) it seems like they’re just not laid-back enough. Like, get to know a girl buddy - maybe we can be friends before you start assessing my potential as your life-long companion. That’s not what I am looking for. Like I said, this could just be me, but I think a nice “Great to meet you, nice chatting with you” is sufficient, and I don’t want to hear, “I never chat this long with anyone, you seem special, this is so great, I feel like we have a connection” etc. etc.

Am I just a raging harpy? Or just scared of… everything? Or would this be overwhelming to people other than me?

  
Filed under: dating drama, introversion |


6 Responses to “Desperation, it’s in the air”

  1. micalclark on August 7, 2007 11:24 pm

    It’s in the Y chromosome. Men are hunters, women gatherers.

    Man want women … man hunt down woman … man keep woman :wink:

    Whereas women would like to chat and gather men around for getting to know one another.

    (adapted from “Defending the Caveman” regarding the way men and women shop)
    I guess dating online is kind of like shoppping for a partner :lol:

  2. SuperBadGirl on August 8, 2007 11:13 am

    I think you’re right. It just seems like these guys want to “pin me down” or something. Maybe they want me to be their bird in the hand while they beat the bushes. Who knows? People are strange, even when you’re not a stranger. :roll:

  3. Pilikia on August 9, 2007 11:52 am

    It’s not typical of guys in general, or at least not in my experience. It may be typical of guys trying to date online. Maybe once they get to the point where they actually put an ad up, they’ve decided that the time for “hanging out” is over and now they want a lifemate. And yeah, they want to spend the exact amount of time shopping for one as they do for a pair of pants — which is to say, walk in, get them, pay, walk out. :)

  4. SuperBadGirl on August 9, 2007 1:28 pm

    OK you made me laugh AND think about it in a better way. As much time as they do for a pair of pants! :lol:

  5. Heidi on August 9, 2007 5:48 pm

    Susiepants. /nod

    Personally “hello let’s have kids” would freak me out. Not the least of all because thanks, but I’ve already got some and I’m all set.

  6. SuperBadGirl on August 13, 2007 11:08 pm

    You know, that DOES lend a strangeness to my tendency to add “pants” onto everyone. But no one is getting into Susiepants. Well, not really, just none of these over-eager freaks are getting into Susiepants. :lol:

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