Photography under adverse circs
OK, so maybe not as bad as a photojournalist in Afghanistan right now, but still, taking pictures of garden flowers while suspecting you’re being discussed by Mexicans and you’re certain that you’re donating a large supply of your blood to the local mosquito population - it makes for some dodgy shots. However I did like how this one turned out. Hope you enjoy, it’s my Abraham Darby rose.
In other news, I am suffering from an intense bout of melancholia at the moment. For no real reason, which makes it harder. I suspect I know what set it off (three guesses as to whether it’s Mom related or not) but I seem powerless to extract myself. The weather today, beautiful, calm and cool - it was almost autumnal. That alone is enough to send me flailing over the edge, but when you sit outside looking at such still and beautiful things, it’s hard to keep your thoughts from lingering on how it’s all going to end. It’s so intensely pleasureable, it hurts. It’s exactly the same as how I don’t want to listen to the end of my current audio book. I love it so much and listening to it means that I am getting closer to the end. I have to force myself.
And it’s the same as how I never listen to some of the bands I really love because… they’re too perfect. It’s too wonderful, and then when it’s over it’s over. And the let down is more than I want to subject myself to. Harmful self protection. I avoid doing things that make me happy because when they’re done I will be sad, and doing that apparently makes me sad. I do believe that’s irony.
Check out the books (or the audiobooks) Poison Study and Magic Study by Maria V. Snyder. You will love them. I promise. All your wildest dreams will come true.
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I do that with the nice weather, too. 75% of the year here is winter (ok, maybe only 65%), so the further into summer we get, the closer we are to winter. And I despise winter. I think I need to move somewhere that has a limited amount of winter. Like Hawaii. Want to come? I don’t see how anyone can be depressed in Hawaii. Even if you’re homeless there, at least you’re homeless and warm.