Something’s Eating My Music
This morning I had a sudden, overwhelming urge to hear The Cardigan’s “Lovefool.”
love me love me say that you love me, fool me fool me go on and fool me.
I didn’t just have to hear it, I had to put in on my car playlist RIGHT THEN and listen to it on the way to work. For which I was already running late. So I went to adjust my playlists and sync my iPod to this effect, and discovered to my surprise and chagrin that this song was not in my iTunes library.
But how? I have listened to that song at least eleventy squintillion times. A lot of times. I love that song. I couldn’t tell you the last time I listened to it, no, but certainly I have owned it at some point and had it on my computer. In this house? Maybe. In my apartment? Certainly. No, I can’t tell you WHEN, but I can tell you I HAD it. But it was not there. It was gone. So, despite now being really rather late to leave the house, I started searching my backups. Where was it? It had to have been accidentally deleted. It would be in a backup. But it was not. Not in the first backup, and also not in the backup of the backup. (Chez BadGirl, we protect our music, yo.) There were two empty folders in the “Cardigans” subfolder though. One of them tellingly titled “Best Of.” This is where it would have lived, back then in those happy times, when we were together. And yet now it was gone. Gone.
So I bought it again and I waited for it to download and I then re-synced my iPod and I was almost twenty minutes late to work because NO FUCKING COMPUTER was going to tell me I couldn’t hear a song I wanted to hear, when I fucking wanted to hear it, goddammit. It was gone, but I could get it back. For a tiny amount of money and a little bit of my time I could replace something that I’d lost. Not everything is like that. Some things you can’t ever have back, no matter how much money you might want to offer, or how long you were willing to wait. But THIS THING, goddammit, THIS thing, I could have. Something was under my control. And so I had it. And I have it now, until iTunes decides to swallow it whole again. And then I guess I will buy it again. I don’t know. I don’t know why some songs periodically disappear. It’s not the first time something’s gone missing. And I guess I don’t care. Things come and go. Some things, if you remember to miss them, you can replace.
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I turned off synching completely and do it all manually now (Insert childish giggle here).
When I tried to restore them, they said they already existed in the location, so I don’t know what the heck is up. My backup software is set to contribute only, not to echo or sync. :-/