The Decade Dominated by Denim
More from the great basement cleanout of 2009! I found a whole box of these “INFashion” magazines, and though they were heavy and smell like basement, I could not resist hauling them home to have a look through them. They are all circa 1987-89, and the following images are from the September/October 1987 issue (Lisa Bonet and Matt Dillon on the cover – oh so dreamy!) There was so much to observe and ridicule that I was spoiled for choice, so I focused mostly on denim ads in this one, as they are truly horrendous.
Here are some ladies in the ubiquitous blue fabric:
Apparently in 1987, women were allowed to cover their bodies quite completely, as well as look androgynous in general.
Unless you're one of them-there super feminine women, and then you pose in the most unnaturally ass-proffering position in the history of contortion. All the better to feature how exactly matching your jacket and pants are.
So we’ve determined that women wore a lot of clothing, and most of that was denim:
Men, on the other hand, were encouraged to bare their bellies, wear colorful, skin-tight, package-enhancing spandex and strap on large hunting (diving?) knives in thigh holsters. After imprinting on this shit it's no wonder the women of my generation grew up fetishizing gay men.
And here we have the alpha hipster prototype. After 1987 he was sent back to the lab and tinkered with for the next 20 years, but all they really came up with to improve upon this model was the addition of oversized pedophile glasses. Oh, and using an ugly dude as the base.
More bad denim stylings. We were very matchy back in the day. At least he's got his spine and his Orange Crush.
We can now move on to couples:
I cannot blame her for averting her gaze. Really though, nothing is manlier than triple-processed denim. Does anyone but me remember what that stuff smelled like when you first bought it? And how about ponderous U-man sweater guy there in the back? One year at homecoming none of the guys wore suits because these sweaters were SO much classier.
Even a dodgy acid-washed girl is unsure how the guy is getting away with this level of smirky Guido. I do wish the waist of his mom-jeans could be a little higher though.
As my absolute favorite, I present the jean that is flattering on absosmurfly no one—unless you walk around with some kind of large cardboard barricade that produces this close crop shot of just your crotch. Seriously, can you imagine what the ass of these looks like? Astronaut diapers, that's what.
And lastly, because this all reminded me of this old SNL clip, I needed to find and embed it here. Frequently when my friends are doing insanely stupid things, I am shaking my head and thinking “Ohhh, that is Bad Idea Jeans”—this clip is why. If you’re not my age I suppose the reference is completely lost. But for those of us who lived through it, it’s all part and parcel of the decade of denim.
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1) I used to wear a triple-processed denim shirt in the 80′s and early 90′s.
2) I think it’s still hanging in my wardrobe *Blush*
In my defence though, it hasn’t seen the light of day in many years. Unlike the short-sleeved black cotton shirt that I wore a few weeks ago and then remembered that I’d bought it when I was 17. Some things just never go out of style.
In the pictures above though, the clothes have not aged too badly – but the haircuts definitely need to stay back in the 80′s.