This day’s beginning doesn’t bode well for later productivity.
So I had a doctor’s appointment this morning at 8:30. I don’t like to go to the doctor. I didn’t used to mind, back when I didn’t have any health issues. Now I mind. The whole experience fills me with dread and anxiety and a horrible out of control “These people are going to judge me, and they are never going to help me.” panic feeling. So, you know I was really looking forward to it.
In some kind of world record, I totally lost my shit IN THE WAITING ROOM. Yes kids, in a model to capable competent women everywhere, I sat there with a bunch of strangers, weeping most piteously over the forms I had to fill out. Seriously. I didn’t even know until I got there that I was going to freak out so hard. You never can tell.
So anyway, I had to take some calming medications. Then I saw the doctor, and tried to maintain my cool. She was a cool doctor, very matter of fact, which I appreciated. She seems to believe in some concept called… let me think… oh what did she CALL it again…? Oh! The “quality of my life.” Whatever that is.
She thinks mine is not high! I agree! It’s just that no one I’ve seen wants to focus on the fact that my medical issues are making me miserable, and making my life a pit of despair. They just want to focus on the one thing in front of them, not weighing whether treatment of that thing might actually make me feel worse, and if there are other options to consider. Anyway, she did some bloodwork and made me pee in a cup, and she wants to see me back in a month and “assess my mood” (I swore to her that I was not normally hysterical, but she did not believe me, and I can’t blame her.) In the meantime she’s sending me to two other doctors for other stuff.
So anyway I hadn’t eaten anything b/c I thought they might want to do fasting bloodwork. So I was hungry, and I was on calming meds. And then I had blood drawn. So then I was woozy and hungry and on calming meds. Then I was starving, so I went to Jack in the Box. FAIL on the eyes bigger than stomach level. Oh well, at least I am no longer hungry, I am going into a food coma.
Anyway, now I am at my desk, preparing to work. But I am woozy, low on blood, in a food coma AND still with the calming meds. I don’t know that I am going to be super-charged here in the office today, is all I am saying.
Filed under: Health Stuff | Comments (3)3 Responses to “This day’s beginning doesn’t bode well for later productivity.”
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It’s hard to go to the doctor. “Hi, I’m here to discuss how much this thing that’s wrong with me sucks.” Bleh. At least it sounds like she’s taking you seriously. Any foot news?
And yes, this doctor does seem to be taking me seriously. I can’t get in to either of the other doctors she wants me to see until late August though. :(
Swimming sounds like a good idea. It’s low impact and good for your muscles and stuff. If you join will you really go?