How (Not) to Live Your Life, Book One

June 10th, 2009

So DaveWWT and I have decided that our lives are so goddamned epic that we need to write a book in which we advise other people on how to live if they want to be unhealthy, alone and perpetually confused by everything around them.

I had several ideas for chapter titles, like:

How to live your life alone & unloved
Being a selfish bastard, it’s easier than you think.
Just Add Alcohol

Dave’s first chapter is going to be titled:

Two girlfriends are better than one and other false promises of the pornography industry

But then we got kinda stuck and decided to open it up to the twitterverse. Their submissions below:

sub_english Something for the middle of the book “Dicks I Have Known.” I like the double entendre of the verb “to know.” (I told her this would be our only pop-up chapter.)
Schweinhundt “Our Only Stable Friend is Fucked in the Head”
sub_english “Wisdom Is Alcohol Soluble.”
_bunny_ Blackouts: Bane or Boon?
todderickv “Smoking Poles, Amphibians, Meth Mouths, Croats, and other inane people I find myself talking to in front of Mangia at 4am”
_bunny_ Waking Up Next To Food

We are also going to collect the good bad advice that random people give to us. Like:

No eating after midnight. Make that 8 p.m.
No using bug spray after dark.
Always don’t eat ice cream.
In general, slow your roll.
Shot o’clock is a good idea.
If you do it in a crowd, nobody sees.
When in doubt, break someone’s arm.

Let me know if you have any further suggestions.

I think this could be a multi-volume work, as Dave and I have lots and lots of bad advice to share. Or lots of good advice for leading a very bad life, rather.