I think I am in love with the Target lady

May 27th, 2009

So there’s this cashier lady at the Target store I frequent. At first I would groan to myself when I realized I was in her lane, but lately I’ve found myself seeking her out. You see, when you’re in her line this woman is aggressively, angrily happy at you. Happy right up in your face.

“Angel how you doing today sweetie? Don’t you look beautiful? How is your day going?”

…from the moment she sees you it’s a constant patter of positive affirmation. But it’s not kindly, it’s challenging. It’s like she’s daring you to resent her being nice.

“Precious angel, do you want this toilet paper in a bag, or do you want to carry it like this, sweetie?”

I mean, that’s the kind of thing that normally would drive me insane. But after seeing that she does it to everyone, it’s pretty fascinating to observe. And who doesn’t want to be told they’re a gorgeous precious angel sweetie, at least once a week or so? Nobody, that’s who.

The thing is, she must get negative feedback or mostly ignored, because my bright and cheerful response yesterday let her reveal a little more of her secret resentment against the world. She asked me how I was doing, and I told her I was doing really well. She told me I was looking beautiful and I thanked her. I asked her how she was doing, and she said “I am having a blessed day, sweetie! I always say, don’t let anyone steal your happy! Don’t let anyone bring you down!” I looked around, but didn’t see anyone attempting to bring her down in any way. Maybe they had been in there earlier, I don’t know.

Anyway, I don’t care if the Target lady wants to call me a beautiful angel. In fact, I will actively seek some of that shit out. It’s not quite at the level of my next long-term project of keeping a friend in my handbag to hug me whenever I need it, but it will do.

Mood : crampy Music : Bel Canto - Rumor

Filed under: anti-socialism | Comments (3)

3 Responses to “I think I am in love with the Target lady”

Dim Reaper on May 29, 2009 3:29 am
There used to be a waitress at a place I went to regularly. Every time I was there she was SO nice that it was untrue. Happy, smiling, helpful. I don’t know how anyone can be like that at work all the time.

Maybe from an evolutionary point of view we need such people in society. Too many of them would drive me mad though – I’d have to avoid people first thing in the morning even more. I could probably cope with them when I’d had my second cup of coffee.

I suspect though SBG that your fondness and fascination for this lady partly stems from tha fact that you suspect that deep down whe is looking out from a facade of niceness and bitching about all of the customers just the way that we would.

On the other hand though, I’ve got to admit that I am just as susceptible to insincere flattery as the next guy.
KBO on May 29, 2009 12:00 pm
There used to be this lady who worked at the Blockbuster on Chippewa who was EXACTLY like this. In fact, I was pretty sure she was on drugs because she LOVED her job and being bubbly and friendly. The other day, drove through the Lion’s Choice on Chippewa, and I knew from the minute she asked for our order that it was the Blockbuster lady. Sure enough, she’s taken her act down the road a bit. I always wonder if she is really that perky and happy, or if she just fucks with people.
Heidi on May 31, 2009 2:41 pm
See now, that shit would freak me right out. Like the time the kids’ high school principal asked me if he could give me a high five. WTF? Not only are you weird, but you want to touch me, too?? Fortunately, the school has a new principal now. That guy was bizarre.