I feel excessively secure
So this morning I am running a bit early to work, and decide to stop off at the coffee shop on the way for a chai tea and a smoothie. Something somewhat healthier than biscuits or an egg sandwich from the cafeteria. Now, you know I don’t like people in general, and I don’t like interacting with people who work at places, they’re always weird and awkward and asking me stupid questions and doing things I don’t anticipate and I basically wish the whole world were drive-thru or self-serve. But it’s not. So I park and go in, place my order, and whip out my debit card to pay. I use my debit card for even minor purchases like this so at the end of the month I can lambaste myself with “Really? $47 worth of chai tea? Seriously?” rather than just going “WhereTF did all my farking money go?” which is what I usually say on Saturday mornings after spending cash at the bar. (BTW the answer to that question usually is “You drunkenly stuffed it into various nooks and crannies of your purse and/or clothing, you vacant whore.”)
So anyway, the guy runs my card, then says it didn’t go through, and wants the card back. I make to hand it over and then he tells me it’s declined. I get the “WTF?” face and say “De-CLINED?” all incredulously. He says “Yes, declined.” Of course there’s got to be other customers standing there overhearing this shit, so I just hastily gave him cash. So as I was waiting for my smoothie I called the bank’s info line, which told me I had enough money in my account to buy everyone in the fucking place breakfast, lunch and dinner. This pisses me off, so I tell him his machine is fucked up, and he gives met the “Uh-huh, whatever, you broke-ass.”
So I get to work and figure that I’d better call my bank to see if there’s a problem, or if it’s really his machine. They transfer me to security, who have placed a hold on my account for suspicious activity. Now I am worried. Has someone accessed my account? What the hell is going on? I get some chick from security, and she tells me that yes indeed, there’s some suspicious activity on my account. Particularly this charge from DAZ3D in Utah. For $9.43.
Seriously? An under-$10 charge from a company I have been buying shit from on a monthly basis since 2004? That made your flags raise? Oh yes, she says, there’s another charge that’s suspicious. This one’s $52.80 from my web hosting company. Which also charges me monthly, and has been for the last 3-4 years. Why was that one suspicious? It came from “out of the country” – specifically from oh-so-nefarious hotbed of scamitude… CANADA!
So I confirm that those charges are legitimate, and they (supposedly) release the hold on my account and we’re done. But this whole thing rankles me.
For one thing, it’s really embarrassing to be declined when you’re trying to buy something for which you have plenty of money. Luckily I was at the coffee shop and had cash to cover my purchases, but tonight I am planning to go to the grocery store. If I had been standing in Dierberg’s with $100 worth of perishables, I would not have been so calm, nor (since I don’t use credit cards at all and don’t carry more than $50 of cash, usually.) would I have had another way to pay for my purchases.
For another thing – check your fucking algorithm, yo. I am no banking security expert, but I would think that if a purchase flags as “suspicious” the computer would be able to cross-reference to see if the account holder had purchased in similar amounts from that same merchant in the past. If so – auto-clear that hold, motherfucker. I mean, Microsoft Money even flags monthly transactions automatically, asking me if I want to add them to my recurring bills list. (Which is sometimes eye-opening ["It seems you've made similar purchases in the past. Would you like to add 'TJMaxx, $150, shoes' to your recurring transactions list?"] Umm… no.)
Anyway, years of history of purchases of a similar amount from the same merchant would seem to allay any suspicions that the bank might have, so the whole thing is pretty ridiculous. And now I am going to be holding my breath every time someone runs my card for the next month. Like I need more anxiety when dealing with people who work places? No I do not. Whatever.
Filed under: anti-socialism, the feck? | Comments (6)6 Responses to “I feel excessively secure”
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I keep getting things that I buy over the Internet refused on my Mastercard – things like $20 to e-on software whom I’ve bought three version of Vue from in the past.
As for my AMEX card – I’ve given up on even trying to use it. It was the card for my PC mambership at Daz until the end of last year – then it started getting refused.
Bunch of useless b****rds. Wonder if they’ve heard of shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted?
And then there was the time I was turned down for a second purchase at the grocery store. I bought like $275 worth of groceries, and all was well. Then I wanted to grab something else before we left. Declined. Because now they’d had a security breach somewhere or other. So you can’t have your money. And by the way, we’re going to cancel your debit card sometime, and issue you a new one. We don’t know when.
Or the time I was turned down for an online purchase (also from e-on). I hadn’t been out of the house or spent any money that day, which made me go WTF?? Went and checked my account online. It was Monday, and apparently everything I’d bought over the weekend, which included groceries and $285 worth of stuff at Staples, had come in that day. No money for you. Unreal.
However, if I *don’t* have any money in the bank, they will feel free to approve a charge anyway, so they can assess an overdraft fee. Which was a problem when we were in the motel, and the stupid guy who also didn’t speak much English couldn’t understand, “you’ve emptied her account; don’t charge any more money on it until she gets the next insurance check.” Sigh.
I don’t remember all the particulars, but I had an incident where I deposited a paycheck into the ATM on a Thursday, checked my available balance on a Friday, went out of town and made purchases all weekend, and then came back to several overdrafts on Monday. Because they ran the deposit AFTER the purchases. Even though it appeared on my available balance. I do not even understand that, and I’m still angry about it. So I’ll clutter up your blog with my ranting and still not feel better, grrr.
Maybe if we rant enough we’ll all feel better. LOL.