Kids Curb Marital Satisfaction
Bolding mine:
An eight-year study of 218 couples found 90 percent experienced a decrease in marital satisfaction once the first child was born.
“Couples who do not have children also show diminished marital quality over time,” says Scott Stanley, research professor of psychology at University of Denver. “However, having a baby accelerates the deterioration, especially seen during periods of adjustment right after the birth of a child.”
An unrelated study in 2006 of 13,000 people found parents are more depressed than non-parents. Scientists speculate that the problem is partly a modern one, because parents don’t get as much help at home as they did in previous generations.
There are key variables to note in the new study.
Couples who lived together before marriage experienced more problems after the birth of a child than those who lived separately before marriage, as did those whose parents fought or divorced.
However, some couples said their relationships were stronger post-birth. They tended to have been married longer or had higher incomes.
Children don’t ruin everything, Stanley points out.
Nice to know! They don’t ruin everything. They just ruin most things. Like your house, and your sleep and your social life and your friendships with people who don’t have kids. And your bank account and your peace of mind and all your plans that didn’t have them at the center.
Sorry. Just not very pro-kid over here at chez Susan.
I am sure yours are nice. Really.
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On the “Not pro-kid” thing: You are not alone. They piss me off too. Ironically, I am actually very good with kids, particularly in the 3-13 year old range which I don’t teach. When I used to teach karate my kid’s classes were always full and the kids loved attending.
Now as a single, childless person every time I go out I wonder why I have to put up with people using a crowded shopping centre to teach their kid to walk whilst the rest of us are almost falling over them. Why people insist on taking their kids to a restaurant when they are screaming because they are tired andf want to go home. Why they insist on taking their kids into a crowded shopping centre on a hot day and then letting them get hot, tired and bored so they scream the place down. Why parents expect me to wait for the lights to change at a crossing on an empty road just because they are teaching their kids to use a crossing. People with kids takign days off work because their kid is ill. Men with kids getting paid paternity leave?????
All of the above: NOT…MY…PROBLEM! So why do I have to put up with it?
*Takes a deep breath* Ok, I’ve got loads left, but I’ll take it out on my own blog some time in the future. On the plus side, my girlfriend never wants to have kids so as well as not having to worry about that ever coming up, I have an ally to bitch to when we’re out.
Dim, you seriously don’t think a parent should take a day off work when their kid is sick? That’s more than just a little ridiculous. If your kid gets sick at school, the situation is this. The school nurse is going to be bullshit if you don’t come and get them. And afterward, you are branded at the school as not giving a flying fuck about your kid, and leaving him/her to lie ill all day in the nurse’s office. I never had this problem, fortunately. But if you go to pick up your kid at the nurse, you’ll hear them bitching about the working parents who don’t give a damn, and how they’re the whole reason society is as fucked up as it is. Been there.
I did have a nurse call me up when Justin was in the second grade, to tell me that he had a runny nose. When I didn’t seem particularly concerned, she said ominously, “and I see here that he had a runny nose in October, too.” This was in April. She was completely unimpressed at my lack of horror over two runny nose episodes during the same New England winter.
Not to completely invalidate you guys, because every single thing Susie said actually did happen to me when I had kids, and more besides. And little kids running around screaming at the store, whilst wearing Wheelie shoes make me want to start breaking things. But damn, guys. Dim, I want you to go home and pop an Ativan. LOL.
But none for me. No thank you very much.
And yes, I totally agree to the no kids in the future (other than the ones I’ve already got). Done with that, thanks.