This Just In
I think I can officially say that there’s pretty much nothing on the earth that I can’t make myself feel guilty about and/or responsible for. Everyone’s everything? My responsibility. Somehow in my head it’s all under my control, and I am meant to make it all feel better, make it perfect, make it right. Can’t turn my brain off, because it’s always searching for ways to make everything OK for everyone. Either that or it’s seeking ways and means to flee all these people and their voracious undemanded demands.
It’s the most horrific combination of narcissism and martyrhood. The better I know you, the worse it is for me. The more the things you want are in conflict with the things my other people want, the worse it is for me. The more the things you want are in conflict with what’s good for me, the worse it is for me. The more unscrupulous and/or oblivious type of person you are, the worse it is for me.
This is my brain on people
It’s just not safe for me to interact with people, seriously. Any day now I am going to accidentally spontaneously invert my brain, trying to make so many simultaneous things work out for so many people. It’s gonna be messy.
I think I am going to go sit in the bathroom and stare at the wall for awhile.
PS: Whatever it is you need or want from me—especially if it’s for me to STFU and chill out already—I just don’t think I am going to be able to deliver.
Filed under: anti-socialism, introversion | Comment (0)Leave a Reply
