The Regular Beat of the Metrognome

December 7th, 2008

Jezebel had a great piece the other week on this phenomenon of guys suddenly transforming into lumberjacks this time of year. It’s hilarious because I’ve noticed this myself with guys from around here. Regular 9-5 type guys will suddenly turn into Grizzly Adams once the snow falls. We see the south side of 35º and here comes the flannel, then out grows the facial hair.

I mean – come on, we’re in an urban environment here people. It’s not like you’re going to get stuck out on the frozen tundra somewhere between the parking lot and the office building. And how much warmer does a beard really make your face, anyway?

Girls don’t really have the option of looking like lady lumberjacks for winter.* We still have to wear skirts and tights and stuff, and a 15º upskirt draft is a bracing sensory experience in the morning, believe me.

In any case, I have to admit that I most loved the article because I find the wordplay of “metrognome” irresistible and have incorporated it into my lexicon.

*Actually I take that back, from what I heard last night there are some area girls who are going totally Grizzly Adams, just in places most people can’t sneak a peek.

Field Guide To Guys: The Modern Metrognome
from Jezebel, read full article at link above.

It’s that time of year again, when the thermometer drops below 40, and suddenly the streets fill not just with dry leaves and black ice but urban guys suddenly transformed into lumberjacks.

…

The metrognome will often claim a beard is for warmth. But there is also an element of dandified defiance to it: the metrognome says: I am not part of “the system.” The establishment has no hold on the metrognome. His appearance implies: in my heart, I am cut out for the challenges of the wild. I master the elements and am obscurely connected to an earlier time….

Filed under: good links | Comments (4)

4 Responses to “The Regular Beat of the Metrognome”

Dim Reaper on December 8, 2008 2:14 pm
It could be that the water for shaving is cold at this time of year, or that standing in the bathroom with your shirt off whilst shaving is a cold experience. More likely it’s just a good excuse to get away with not shaving for a few months.

I absolutely hate shaving, and I’m really miffed that I missed out on the benefits of the 80′s when stubble was considered cool. I have dark hair, so I shave at 6.30am every morning and by about 11am I look like I’ve not bothered that day.

Whichever git first came up with the idea (same goes for women’s legs and pits I’m sure) was a complete f***tard. While I’m at it same goes for the guy who invented ironing clothes.
SuperBadGirl on December 8, 2008 6:03 pm
Actually I never considered the cold water/cold bathroom scenario, which makes sense to me. Girls get to shave in the shower, where it’s all nice and warm (provided your water heater is working.)

I just really like the phrase “metrognome.” I am going to call everyone that, all the time. From now until April.
Zansetsue on December 8, 2008 9:58 pm
One of my friends does this once a year. He calls it “Novembeard.”
JeniPANTS on December 13, 2008 3:14 pm
…will you hate me forever if I tell you that, not only do I not shave, but no one can tell?