Semi-Well-Hung
What an aggravating day I’ve had. Of course over silly, petty inconsequential things—that’s a given. But aggravating nonetheless.
Got up this morning feeling achey and useless from all the yard work I ended up doing yesterday afternoon. Stumbled around for an hour or two, then decided to go run errands. I needed to get some frames for the (v. cool) Todd Klein prints I bought a few weeks ago, and needed a new cord to make my stereo’s turntable hook up to my computer, since the $20 one from ebay only makes loud hummy noises when I plug it in.
First I went to Michael’s craft store at 55 & Lindbergh. I hate fucking Michael’s craft fucking stores. Every branch I go into is populated with slack-jawed moronic scrapbookers, and everyone who works there is possessed of the most ridiculously unjustified asshole attitude. I mean, it’s not even a COOL store, but the women there are always unholy bitches. Their management must really suck to make every person who works there act such an unremitting c*nt. Anyway, I get there and I need to buy frames for two 11×17″ prints. I planned to get two 16×20″ frames and mats cut to 11×17″. Simple, right? No such fucking luck, of course, since it’s ME we’re talking about. Turns out that 16×20 frames come with 11×14 mats, not 11×17. No worries, I will buy an unmatted frame and a mat separately to fit. Right? Find out after the jump.
No, no I won’t - they don’t MAKE mats 11×17. I feel like I am in some insane hotdog/bun world now. These can’t be the only two 11×17 prints in the history of the fucking world, can they? They have two 11×17 frames, but I am not sure if the OPENING is 11×17 or the whole frame is, and I can only see getting them home to realize that the opening is 10.75×15.25 or some bullshit. And those are $30 apiece, so I am not hauling them home without knowing for sure. I want to ask the custom-framing counter-girl if they can cut me a special mat to size, but there’s some fucking annoying county-yoga-bitch standing there for a fucking AGE dithering whether she wants the DIRTY white country-style frame or the PURE white country-style frame and my patience would not extend that far, so I finally just picked up some of those horrible cheap clip & glass 16×20″ frames for $10 apiece, and got some pink and green paper to use as a faux-mat. Observe:
Not nice like I wanted, but apparently all I can do unless I want to pay hundreds to have the fecking things custom framed.
So then I went to Best Buy and got a cable to make the turntable hook up to the stereo. You can guess how that shit worked out. Loud hummy noise, anyone? So now I have $40 invested in cables that don’t work, and USB turntables are only $100.
Todd swung by and picked me up later, we went to the comic book store and then Whole Paycheck - another place filled with a whole different sort of slack-jawed moron, this time with their over-privileged, under-disciplined, asshole offspring. These are the sort of people who park their cart in one side of the aisle and their organic-cotton-clad ass in the other side of the aisle, gaping at the 362 varieties of powerbar on display while we repeatedly holler “EXCUSE ME!” in their ears until they glare at us, losing all of their post-yoga bliss feelings. Whatever. In the meantime, their crocs-wearing little princess is repeatedly ramming her child-size cart into our ankles.I bought delicious fresh fruit and some of that lovely lemon-dill-tuna salad and some fresh spinach. (Whole Foods would actually rock if not for the other shoppers and the unwashed-looking staffers.)
When we left there I commented to Todd that all my latent rage and aggression, which had abated over the weekend, were back in full force and I was in my typical “kill people who shop at Whole Foods” mood. He pointed out that it had been about 48 hours since I’d availed myself of any prescription painkillers and/or anti-anxiety meds, and that probably had some bearing on my agitation. I commented that that was pretty fucking pathetic. Then he said “To give you the benefit of the doubt though, the people in that store are really assholes.” So I felt mildly better.
I don’t know, it’s probably just knowing I have to go back to that retarded place with that fuckwitted numbskull tomorrow, and knowing that I have to pretend like I don’t wish his spleen would spontaneously explode. It’s hard to pretend not to hate someone’s fucking guts, especially when that person pesters the ever-loving shite out of you all god-damned day. Every 15 minutes he’s back in my office with “GOT A QUESTION FOR YA!” and then he does that salesman thing where he places one hand on each side of the doorway of my office, leaning in and trying to make his wee little short-man frame take up more space I guess. Maybe I will spread some poison-ivy oil on there or something. Or just flick a booger there, for my private satisfaction and amusement.
Fuck.
God, I hate my life.
5 Responses to “Semi-Well-Hung”
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Then I had to look up HDMI leads to apparently get the best effect from the new HD Tv. At PC world one is around £50 (didn’t realise copper had gotten so expensive) and another one was about £10. Being a cheapskate I went to the local DIY store and got one for £4.
As to your “hum” problem, two things occur to me (and sorry if these are obvious and you’ve tried them):
1) Have you got a different audio in on your computer that you could try? The ones on the front of my machine don’t seem as good as the ones on the back, so you might have a similar problem.
2) Try turning the recording volume on the pc right down.
Also, saw the pictures of your new setup and it looks sweet! Nice TV, remind me to come and stay with you when I am next in Scrogglywogs Bottom UK, or wherever you are. :p
It was a close call between a 40 inch, 42 inch, 46 inch and 50 inch tv. I went for the 40 inch because:
1) I liked the picture better.
2) It was cheaper.
3) It means the couch can be closer to the TV giving me more computer desk space at the back of the room.
4) I like to show the world that I don’t need to buy the biggest TV, since I have nothing to compensate for :-P
(And I’ve already seen pictures of the TV.):-p
My camera REALLY has broken - was fine last time I used it a few months ago, now seems to be something wrong with the CCD or whatever they use to detect the light. I’ve found two replacement cameras that I like…but no one seems to have them in stock. I might have to dig out my old Kodak digital for holiday time.