Random Monday Morning Crap
Warning—unfocused, rambling whine-fest ahead. If you’re not in the mood for that, please skip. If you’re up for it, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Up at 5:45 this morning, after my (now) usual pattern of bed at 11:30-12:00, alarm set for 6 a.m., wake up spontaneously at 5 a.m. and remain awake despite all my best efforts to the contrary. Stress-related insomnia is a bitch. I’ve never had serious, long-term insomnia before. And if anything it would be trouble falling asleep. This new trouble staying asleep is way worse. Waking up at 2, 3, 4 and laying there for an hour or two just thinking about work - that’s bullshit. That’s a bullshit, idiotic way to live. And it’s also currently my way.
And it’s not like I don’t need the sleep, or just stay awake and energetic all day. I hit a time between 1-2 p.m. and I get so tired that I could literally fall down if I am not sitting down. Anyway, so that’s my level of exhaustion, and it’s how I am heading to fracking jury duty this morning. I could not be less inspired about it and I am just not in the mood to deal with it. Especially because there’s a good chance that I am going to start my period today and even if I don’t I will be pre-cramping all day. So I am loading up my giant handbag with books, magazines, iPod full of audiobooks, Palm Pilot with games aplenty, cell phone for text and Twittering, healthy snacks, industrial-strength tampons and prescription pain meds… everything I need to get me through the day. I want to bring my laptop but there’s no wi-fi, so there’s not much point. It’s too heavy to haul all the way up there (on the SHUTTLE I get to take from the parking garage, joy oh joy) and just play games on all day. I could write, but I seriously doubt I will have that level of concentration. And again, that’s some heavy shite to haul around when I might not use it. (This is the point where I stop making so much fun of Todd’s MacBook Air)
Plus, last time I had jury duty they gave us 2 hours for lunch and there’s nowhere to go around there to eat. You can’t take your car out of the garage during the day, so I can’t even go to my house (10 minutes away) and eat lunch there. Fuck. So anyway, even as much as work sucks ass, at least I have a comfortable chair and some freedom of movement there. But then I also have psycho “GOT A QUESTION FOR YA!” guy, so I guess it evens out. Or something.
I spent most of the weekend with a level of unfocused, barely-controlled rage which made me uncomfortable and unhappy. I am going to blame it partly on sleep-dep, partly on PMS, partly on chronic pain and partly on all my unbalanced chemicals (Which, due to the medications I am on, are now almost back into the high-normal range, rather than the seriously… WTF? range. That’s good.)
Well I will also blame it on the douchebags I had to deal with, like:
- gay men who won’t stop touching my hair
- crazy grifter people who think I fall for their idiotic hard-luck stories
- guys who try to run lines on me about my exotic looks (seriously?)
- dealing with people who have no generosity of spirit AT ALL and actively wish harm to others
Those things factored in, but I think I would have found them all easier to abide if I had a normal amount of sleep and my hormones weren’t their own sentient force. As far as the chronic pain goes, I am trying to get an appointment with a massage place close to me for some reflexology work - I’ve developed plantar fasciitis in my “good” foot, did I mention that? And my broken foot has been crazy painful too lately, as has my back. Which is probably from walking around all crooked because my feet are both insanely painful. But I have to break the cycle somehow, and stretching on my own doesn’t seem to be doing it. So I am going to see if getting the muscles loosened up by a professional helps me. I can’t really afford to develop a weekly massage habit, but for a few weeks I will try it and see if it gives me some relief. If I can just get to a point where walking and exercising isn’t painful I would walk and move more and loosen the muscles up, so it would take care of itself (I think).
What else? Nothing I guess. I am a bundle of joy, as always.
I keep trying peeps. I do
Filed under: Girly Health, anti-socialism, brokenFootDrama |One Response to “Random Monday Morning Crap”
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My hormones are still whacked out, but Norethindrone stops me from having periods, so I don’t even care. Worth it.
However, I think I might be able help you with the lunch thing. Taxi? Do they give you the lunch time ahead of time, or is it a “well, let’s break now because the judge feels like it” kind of thing? Either way, could you get a cab to your house for lunch and then back to court later? If you know ahead of time when your lunch break is, then maybe you could even call in the morning to schedule a cab.
Also, I’m sorry about your feet. :-( And you’re probably right about them being the reason for the back pain. Anything messed up below the spine screws it all up hellaciously.