Want to taunt your friends and family from heaven? Here’s how!

June 6th, 2008

Website Lets You Send a Post-Rapture E-Mail to Friends ‘Left Behind’ | Threat Level from Wired.com

If millions of Christians suddenly disappear from the face of the Earth as the opening act for Armageddon, Threat Level thinks most nonbelievers will be too busy freaking the hell out to check their e-mail. But if they do log in, now they can be treated to some post-Rapture needling from their missing friends and loved ones, courtesy of web startup YouveBeenLeftBehind.com.

For just $40 a year, believers can arrange for up to 62 people to get a final message exactly six days after the Rapture, that day when — according to Christian end times dogma — Christians will be swept up to heaven, while doubters are left behind to suffer seven years of Tribulation under a global government headed by the Antichrist.

“You’ve Been Left Behind gives you one last opportunity to reach your lost family and friends for Christ,” reads the website, which is purportedly run “by Christians, for Christians.” The domain name is registered through an anonymous proxy service, presumably to protect the proprietors from the Forces of Darkness, and not because they’re up to anything shady.

The e-mails will be triggered when three of the site’s five Christian staffers “scattered around the U.S.” fail to log in for six days in a row — a system that incorporates a nice margin of safety, should two of the proprietors turn out to be unrepentant sinners or atheists.

This is just TOO damn awesome. Christians rock. Harvesting the unGodly power of teh internetz to use 4Jesus! Who would have thought?

I can’t wait until this system fails in some way, sending out the taunting pious “you’ve been left behind” emails prematurely and causing millions of the devout (primarily histrionic teens) all over the earth to kill themselves, thinking they’ve been left behind for the beast to make his mark on. Oooh! Hacker alert. That would be a worthwhile pursuit, eh?

Mood : immune to sleep, apparently