New District Bulletin
If I could have Dr. David Thorpe come over to my house and read to me a new district bulletin every night while he rubbed potent, medicinally-scented unguents onto my dainty feet I could simultaneously be the happiest woman alive and make his life one of freakish misery. Especially if I chained him to the radiator when I wasn’t using him to buff my calluses.
Why would I want to do that to a clever, talented person who would be making me and my feet so very happy? Oh, I have my reasons.
But I digress. There is a new District Bulletin, people! Read it, and cry with laughter. And if you’ve not yet read the OTHER District Bulletins, then obviously read them first or you will NOT be able to understand the complex plot lines and cleverly nuanced characters he’s created here. Then you will be sad. I don’t want you to be sad. Not like the sad that Dr. David Thorpe is going to experience when he’s chained, sobbing, to my radiator* with a pen super-glued in one hand and an array of unguents spread before him.
4. 01/09/2008 – District Bulletin: Recall Election
3. 04/03/2007 – District Bulletin: Public Elections
2. 11/14/2006 – District Bulletin: Event & Circumstance
1. 05/16/2006 – District Bulletin: Wanted Offenders
*Note, I have forced-air heating, so this is obviously a small joke on my part. Ha!
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[...] my tiny, tender footbones in twain, merely due to the fact that nine days previously I may have casually mentioned chaining Dr. David Thorpe to my radiator and forcing him to rub my feet with potent, [...]