I love you Heidi, you match my righteous atheist anger so well.

Now, I am feeling poorly, I need to retire to my breeding pod for a rest.

Ok, how about this one?

“Just imagine vast fields of our sisters in Christ — sisters brain damaged and comatosed, never to mentally return to this Earth full of sin — inserted into pods that are themselves connected to a myriad of wires and hydraulic tubes (I know, it sounds exactly like the Matrix, and I freely admit, although it’s certainly a very evil movie, some of the imagery is inspiring and inspired this post). The pods will be the most comfortable places on Earth, playing soothing music like Bible hymns and Mozart, their insides like a massage chair and covered in silk. A few intruding wires and tubes will, of course, have to connect to the women inside the pods to monitor their temperature and overall health, as well as the babies’ of those that are pregnant. And of course there will be one tube reserved for the insertion of a man’s seed whenever the women are at their most fertile. And only the best semen will be used. I haven’t quite settled on a selection process yet, but I’m thinking some sort of Christian council could perhaps vote on the man who is honorable and moral enough to breed generations of these children. Perhaps one man won’t be enough, for a little bit of diversity is always good. We should, therefore, most likely have a multitude of different men, one of each race. When the children are born, they can be sent off to special adoption centers, where they can be delivered to good Christian parents who are unable to themselves breed. Those that may be left over can be raised in God, brought up in Christian schools, where prayers are said thrice daily (at least), and in the summer, they can be sent to Jesus camp. If the schools are as good as I envision, then these children will make the perfect leaders for our future. But not just leaders, for if this idea is near as good as I am thinking, we will breed enough of these children to one day make up a huge percentage of our population, such that they can elect only the most Christian of people to the government. So even those that are not the brightest and best can contribute to God in some way.”

WTPF??!! Did anybody else hear Twilight Zone music?? There are a whole lot of posts on there about rounding up the members of whatever group they’re hating on at the time and sending them to an island. Maybe we should really be rounding up the Fundies and sending them to the island. “Have you taken your religion and run with it to the point of complete and total insanity? Yes? Welcome to The Island.”

I do have to say, though, that my heart broke for that poor boy who committed suicide because of his mom trying to make him not be gay anymore. :-( In fact, I feel terribly sorry for any gay person who is related to any of those freaks.

I have so much t-shirt fodder!!!!

Ok, that one’s seriously the BEST.

“I think there are a lot more cases of people being agnostic or atheistic, but then getting off drugs in order to become Christians. I don’t know any Christians who actually do drugs. That to me seems like more of an escape from reality that non-religious folk tend to get into.

It would take a lot of drugs to convince me that I could know anything about myself and the world by being an atheist. It would also take a lot of drugs to convince me, if I were an atheist, that morality had more meaning than the indigestion I felt when I drank bad water in Mexico.”

What the FUCK???? “I don’t know any Christians who actually do drugs.” Walk into an Evangelical convention, and TELL me that you can’t get a contact buzz from all the goddamn cocaine. Jesus Fucking Christ.